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.: Quick Dating Search
:: Top 10 Ways To Improve Your Profile
By Evan Marc Katz
1. You're writing for an audience. Don't forget it. Ever hear of T.M.I.? Too Much Information? Just because you think of something doesn't mean you should say it here. Want to date a hottie and nothing but a hottie? Don't say it, just do it. Leading with your superficial side has never helped anyone.
2. Adjectives mean nothing. Anyone can write a similar list: nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest, successful, ambitious, family-oriented. If I can write that, and you can write that, and your mom can write that, how are we any different? Turn those adjectives into anecdotes and your profile may actually sound different than every other well-intentioned adjective writer out there. 3. Activities mean nothing, too. You might think you're writing something specific a when you list your interests: 'hiking, biking, movies, music, travel,' but really – don't most people dig this stuff, too? If you're going to mention something, make it as specific as possible. Where do you hike? What's your favorite movie? What's the city you're just dying to visit one day? 4. Ask yourself: 'Can anybody else say the same exact thing?' You want a person who is honest? You like to laugh? You're done playing games? Join the crowd. Better yet, come up with a more creative way to express these same sentiments. | ADVERTISEMENT |
5. Leave the cliches to everyone else. Listen, I think it's cool that you "work hard and play hard", are "equally comfortable in a little black dress and a pair of jeans", and "are looking for your best friend and partner in crime", but so is the next person on my search list. And the next person. And the next…
6. Watch the bragging. You can talk about yourself at great length without sounding like you're showing off, but it's a fine line. Avoid subjective evaluations such as "I'm very attractive/intelligent/funny" and focus on illustrating the same points. Your picture will let me know that you're attractive. Your grammar and diction will indicate that you're intelligent. Your humor will come across in your essays. Show us, don't tell us.
7. Nobody responds to negativity. If you're depressed, fed-up, lonely, frustrated, or just out of a relationship, you may want to wait until you're in a better place before you date online. If you can stay upbeat and have fun writing your profile, people are likely to have fun reading it.
8. Don't define yourself by what you don't want. So you've dated enough people to determine that you don't want someone who's a liar, who is grossly overweight, or who is chronically unemployed. Congratulations. Turn those negatives into positives or just leave ‘em out. People shouldn't feel personally indicted by your essays.
9. One word: spell-check. Write your profile on a Word document, spell-check it, then cut and paste it onto the site. Note: a lot is two words, definitely doesn't have an "a", and you're is a contraction meaning "you are".
10. For the love of God, tell the truth. If you don't, you're destroying any future trust you may have tried to build up, and you're giving all the honest online daters a bad name.
Copyright © 2005 Even Katz
As a male dating coach, Evan provides unique perspective on the single world, and is thrilled to report that his clients are married, engaged and dating prolifically. Visit his personal coaching site at www.evanmarckatz.com and E-Cyrano.com
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