Five Vacanze Life Learned Da u misgiu e scrittura

Quandu I primi scontra à Piénsalo, Christopher, cinque anni fa, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, I dubbità ch'e ancu elli aviva 10 volti, comu alti alti purtatu a maiò parti di u mo viaghji à e de classi quannu un parmu di Ghiaccio, zinc u quartiere, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, I fatta l 'ùrtimi (muzzina anticchedda cchiù.) A girly girl in every way, Iu nun sacciu comu a fari sweatpants bedda o sentimu asgiata mustrà u mio faccia, senza 'na mascara trucco, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, e speru ca accunsenti per altre donne, ancu.

Micca ch'ellu ùn ci hè nunda di male in metallo e stilettos - gudiri elli! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:

1. Amparate u vostru le individuale: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, I significa Iu sugnu d'alabastru lìmita vitreous, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (knowingly) sta dumanda: s'ellu I là messi nantu à self-facial tanner, Ùn aghju avutu puri (puru siddu nun in u sensu littérale, com'è ca intarvena una settimana di exfoliant.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, è ùn hè vintu tantu sali di piazzà a canciari quarchi cosa unica cù un pruduttu ca puzzava di metallu è lasciò u mio pyjamas e Tattoos bianca muddied.

I nostri partenarii nò, pàrunu comu nui stissi, e no ùn vulemu, ancu. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.

In quantu à i misgi, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

2. Ùn corpu la virgogna: Dui di u mo misgiu hè Petricaghju, dui sò di assassin Average, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, e no tiremu tutti-troppu-spessu messi in situazzioni unni si pò tace, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, e Kate Moss sò tutti diffirenti costruisce, Ma ùn sò micca tutti universalmente beata bella?

Di tantu tempu, Ùn aghju addritta ca li gammi nun foru bastone-magre, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.

3. Prufittate pastu: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, ma in cambiu chì, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 ca haiu mai statu in u mio ghjuventù.

Eating sano, hè una cosa maravigliosa, e ju sugnu 'na Luna rimastu a pigliari l'adopru di a dipindenza (vede quì sottu.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, sippuru, hè una bedda gran cosa, ancu. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.

4. Abbia primura di tè stessu: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (Iddi sona tutte e addirittura cchiù minirali nta, quantunque.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, si sparghje nantu à parlà la nostra menti, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. U misgiu, e omi di lu vistitu nùavu, hannu nu caràttiri to hiss è pè truvà lu sopra cù, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, e nni sannu chì hè megliu à chì u vostru veru sentimenti chì mostranu cà à cuntinuà nantu à un attu e tramuntana, su cchiù tardu.

Unestità è criticu, in rilazione, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, tandu cumu sarà u vostru cumpagnu chì dò à voi?

Chistu è un tali dura, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, sibilante e purring sunnu tutti dui strani cumuni, e tremindù indicanu sulu un tipu di rispettu: di l 'altri, è noi stessi.

5. Asistissi addirittura a lu mumentu: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.

I mo cullezzione vechji scarpa appi arcuni culura mantellu e embellishment strappy, e ju nun haiu ancora un discretu n picca paghje m'aspetta in u mio armadiu di la primavera manu dritta, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, I unu circa cinque paghje, spiecazzioni mare Spart'u Peinados e pinni (apparentimenti, in u mio capu, Vegas, significava visteva cum'è un showgirl.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. Invece, u mio scarpi di destinazione minàvanu la striscia cuncreti chì simana, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, sapennu ca me primi twenties àutu avaria tribulatu à fiancu à elli.

I mo misgiu avissi mai mancà la varva di-veghjanu sulu accussì putìa spianate u so pilami ritornu in locu, e ju nun putìa di cunsirvà a pruvista Chris avia I scarpi Père cù un 4 inch lift. farri, u megliu Séjours s'appoghjanu nant'à i muri, è spesa bon sensu ore fà guasi nunda.

Vita è tutti circa crescente, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, raporta pò prufittà di self-di canusciri, unestità so rispunsabilità, and indulging in some treats now and then. Hopefully, attruvamu na bona armunia di hisses e (prusu) purrs longu u stradellu.

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