Fem Life Erfaringer fra hunde og relationer

Da jeg først mødte min kæreste, Christopher, fem år siden, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Jeg tvivler jeg havde dem selv 10 gange, som høje hæle gennemført de fleste af mine rejser til og fra klasse, medmindre en tomme af is belagt campus, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Jeg dekorerede sidstnævnte (noget.) A girly girl in every way, Jeg vidste ikke, hvordan man laver sweatpants smuk eller føler sig trygge viser mit ansigt uden makeup maske, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, og jeg håber, det gør for andre kvinder, samt.

Ikke at der er noget galt med makeup og stiletter - nyd dem! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:

1. Embrace dine individuelle markeringer: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, Jeg mener jeg er alabast grænser op gennemskinnelig, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (bevidst) spørgsmålstegn, hvis jeg havde sat på selvbruner, Jeg kom rent (men ikke i bogstavelig forstand, som der involverede en uge af eksfoliering.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, og jeg følte mig så dum for at forsøge at ændre noget unikt med et produkt, der lugtede metalliske og forlod min pyjamas og hvide kjoler muddied.

Vores partnere vil have os til at ligne os selv, og vi skulle ønske at, samt. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.

Som for katte, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

2. Må ikke krop skam: To af mine katte er lille, to er af gennemsnitlige build, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, og vi alt for ofte sætte dem i situationer, hvor de ikke kan vinde, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, og Kate Moss er alle forskellige bygger, men er ikke de alle universelt anses smuk?

For den længste tid, Jeg kunne ikke stå, at mine ben ikke var stick-tynde, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.

3. Nyd mad: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, men til gengæld for denne, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 end jeg nogensinde var i min ungdom.

Spise sundt er en vidunderlig ting, og jeg er en stor tilhænger af at tage sig af sig selv (se nedenfor.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, selv, er en temmelig stor ting, samt. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.

4. Pas på dig selv: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (De er alle helt opbrugt, af den måde.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, vi stresse over at tale vores sind, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. Katte, og mænd for den sags skyld, har en tendens til at hvæse og få det overstået, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, og de ved, at det er bedre at lade dine sande følelser vise end at drive en handling og sprænge senere.

Ærlighed er kritisk i forhold, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, så hvordan vil din partner give det til dig?

Dette er sådan en hård en, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, hvæsende og spindende er begge almindelige lyde, og de begge indikerer en form for respekt: for andre og os selv.

5. Findes i øjeblikket: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.

Min gamle sko kollektion havde nogle fantastiske farver og strappy dekorationer, og jeg har stadig en hel del par venter i mit skab for det rigtige outfit, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Jeg pakkede omkring fem par, forestille endeløse pailletter og fjer (tilsyneladende, i mit hoved, Vegas betød dressing som en showgirl.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. I stedet, mit mål sandaler slå den konkrete strimmel uge, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, Vel vidende, at min tidlige tyverne selv ville har kæmpet side om side med dem.

Mine katte ville aldrig gå glip af egern-ser bare så de kunne lette deres pels tilbage på plads, og jeg aldrig kunne have holdt op med Chris havde I slidte sandaler med en 4 inch lift. Ofte, de bedste ferier afhængige fornuftigt fodtøj og bruge timer at gøre stort set ingenting.

Livet handler om at vokse, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, relationer kan drage fordel af selvtillid, ansvarlig ærlighed, and indulging in some treats now and then. Forhåbentlig, vi finder en god balance mellem hisses og (meste) spinder undervejs.

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