4 Lub tswv yim rau ib tug Thawj Hnub

Thawj hnub muaj lub peev xwm mus hloov peb lub neej. Kuv twb paub lawm tias yog hais tias koj nyob nraum tam sim no npaj rau ib tug, Kuv tej zaum cia li tau koj lub plab flip, thiab rau hais tias kuv thov txim! The best way to enter into a first date is to relax, so forget the whole life-changing aspect. Es tsis txhob, cia siab rau cov kev sib tham.

Yog li ntawd ntau lub sij hawm, peb xav seb thawj hnub zoo li txoj hauj lwm sib tham, uas yeej teev ib txoj kev mus ob peb vas tsis nkaus conducive rau kev lom zem, thiab feem ntau cov tshuaj tiv thaiv mus rau ib tug hauj lwm kev sib tham yog nervousness, txoj cai? When we’re nervous, tej zaum peb tsis nco qab cov feem ntau tseem ceeb heev sib tham ua cuab tam li peb pov tseg: mloog.

Qhov no tej zaum suab yooj yim, but it’s amazingly sparse in today’s world. We focus so much on preparing our witty remarks or perfect delivery that we neglect to fully tune in to the other person. I’ve heard a lot of great one-liners, thiab kuv hlub funny hais mav, tab sis li cas txog tus yawg uas tau mloog li cas koj hais tias? Zoo, he’s a keeper. If he’s funny, kuj, ces koj twb tiag ntaus tau nyiaj ntau heev.

Cov txiv neej xav tau ib tug poj niam uas mloog, heev! I’m not talking about just hearing the words he says, although that is a critical first step. Actually listen to his words, nws lub suab, nws lub cev lus, and his actions. Women tend to pay attention to these things very well, tab sis nyob rau thawj hnub, peb oftentimes tau li ntawd teem rau peb tus kheej (peb hnav ris tsho, peb cov plaub hau, khoom noj khoom haus nyob rau hauv peb cov hniav, Leej twg lub teb chaws, thiab mem pleev di ncauj reapplications) hais tias peb tsis nco qab vim li cas peb nyob tiag tiag muaj.

Listening to your date is practically guaranteed to help the conversation flow. Bad listening skills, Ntaus A personalities? Here’s a formula:

1. Lo lus nug: Yog hais tias koj lub hnub tham txog txoj hauj lwm hauj lwm los yog tus kheej nyiam hais tias koj tsis to taub, los yog txiav txim ib yam dab tsi tawm cov zaub mov koj twb tsis hnov ​​ntawm, don’t feel silly asking questions. Ask away. People love to explain what they know a lot about, thiab koj twb cia li muab koj lub hnub mus rau hauv ib tug kws, whether that’s on car engines or sushi. Who doesn’t want to feel like an expert? We tend to talk so much more about our passions, yog li koj nyob nraum tau paub hais tias tus neeg nyob rau hauv ib tug muaj nuj nqis txoj kev.

2. Mas: Allowing your date time to finish his or her thoughts is pretty standard – and can prove difficult when you’re excited or nervous – but taking it one step farther can really provide information. One great way of doing this is taking a sip of water as the person is finishing a thought. It gives people a silence to fill, thiab ntau lub sij hawm koj tau txais paub ntau ntxiv txog lawv los ntawm cov inclusions.

3. Empathize: Tej zaum nws cia li tas nws degree, or perhaps he’s up for a promotion. Think of how you would feel in that position. You would probably want to talk about your favorite classes, dab tsi koj xav ua nyob rau hauv lub teb, or the projects you’ve worked on to climb the ladder. Now you have great questions. This is an occasion where selfish thinking can prove very helpful in learning about someone else.

4. Rov: Yog hais tias koj muaj kev txhawj xeeb li ntawd thiab tshee hais tias koj muaj zaub cob pob daig nyob rau hauv koj cov hniav thiab cia li tsis tau mus tsom rau lub ntsiab lus ntawm nws txoj hauj lwm thaum koj blindly rau lub compact nyob rau hauv koj lub hnab tawv pojniam, at the very least try to pick up on key words. Did he say data entry? Now you can ask questions about what kind of data, yog tias qhov no yog ib yam dab tsi nws hlub, or if he uses mass amounts of caffeine to survive it. But honestly, tsis nco qab lub compact thaum koj ua tau, thiab cia li thov kom nws!

Ntawm chav kawm, nug cov lus nug hais txog koj lub hnub lub tsiaj(s) is recommended. Not an animal lover? Check, thov. I say this in jest (thiab tsi tiag.)

Txaus siab rau koj thawj hnub, so kom txaus, thiab muaj kev lom zem! Just remember to listen. Your life may in fact change, tab sis hav, tsis muaj siab.


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