Senk Lavi leson yo aprann nan Chat ak Relasyon
Lè m 'premye te rankontre konpayon mwen, Christopher, senk ane de sa, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Mwen doute mwen menm te mete yo 10 fwa, kòm pinga'w wo te pote pi fò nan vwayaj mwen an ak nan klas sof si yon pous nan glas kouvwi kanpis la, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Mwen dekore lèt la (yon ti jan.) A girly girl in every way, Mwen pa t 'konnen ki jan fè pantalon bèl oswa santi yo alèz ki montre figi m' san yo pa yon mask makiyaj, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, e mwen espere ke li fè sa pou lòt fanm, kòm byen.
Se pa ke gen nan anyen ki mal ak makiyaj ak pwenson - jwi yo! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:
1. Adopte mak endividyèl ou: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, Mwen vle di mwen se Alabaster fontyè translusid, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (konnen) kesyone si mwen ta mete yo sou pwòp tèt ou-bòs tanè, M 'te vin pwòp (byenke pa nan sans literal, kòm sa yo ki enplike yon semèn nan èksfolyasyon.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, epi mwen te santi se konsa komik pou ap eseye chanje yon bagay inik ak yon pwodwi ki pran sant metalik ak kite pijama m 'ak abiye blan muddied.
Patnè nou yo vle nou gade tankou tèt nou, epi nou ta dwe vle, kòm byen. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.
Kòm pou chat, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.
2. Pa kò wont: De nan chat m 'yo se ti, de yo se nan mwayèn bati, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, epi nou tout-twò-souvan mete yo nan sitiyasyon kote yo pa ka genyen, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, ak Kate Moss, yo tout diferan bati, men se pa sa yo tout inivèsèl jije bèl?
Pou tan ki pi long, Mwen pa t 'ka rete ki janm mwen pa t bwa-mens, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.
3. Jwi manje: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, men nan echanj pou ki, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 pase mwen te janm nan jenès mwen.
Manje an sante se yon bagay bèl bagay, ak mwen se yon kwayan fèm nan pran swen nan tèt li (gade pi ba a.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, menm si, se yon bagay trè gwo, kòm byen. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.
4. Pran swen tèt ou: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (Yo ap tout absoliman fin itilize, nan chemen an.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, nou estrès sou pale lespri nou, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. Chat, ak moun pou ki matyè, gen yon tandans chantèz epi pou yo jwenn li sou ak, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, epi yo konnen ke li nan pi bon yo kite santiman vre ou montre pase yo pote sou yon zak ak kònen moute pita.
Onètete se kritik nan relasyon, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, Lè sa a, ki jan yo pral patnè ou ba ou li?
Sa a se tankou yon yon sèl difisil, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, sifleman ak ronronman, yo toulède yo bwi komen, epi yo tou de endike yon di ki kalite respè: pou lòt moun ak tèt nou.
5. Egziste nan moman sa a: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.
Koleksyon fin vye granmoun mwen te gen soulye kèk koulè supèrb ak anbelisman strappy, ak mwen toujou gen byen yon pè kèk ap tann nan klozèt mwen an pou ekipe nan dwa, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Mwen chaje sou senk pè, imajine payèt kontinuèl ak plim (aparamman, nan tèt mwen, Vegas te vle di abiye tankou yon showgirl.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. Olye de sa, sapat Sib mwen bat teren an konkrè ke semèn, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, Lè konnen ke ven bonè m 'pwòp tèt ou ta gen plede ansanm ak yo.
Chat m 'pa ta janm manke soti sou ekirèy-ap gade jis pou yo te ka lis fouri yo tounen nan plas, ak mwen pa janm te ka kenbe moute ak Chris te gen mwen sapat chire ak yon 4 inch lift. Souvan, vakans yo pi byen konte sou sansib soulye ak depans èdtan fè pratikman pa gen anyen.
Lavi se tout sou k ap grandi, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, relasyon ka benefisye de oto-konfyans, onètete responsab, and indulging in some treats now and then. Nou swete ke, nou jwenn yon balans bon nan sifle ak (sitou) purrs sou wout la.