4 Atụmatụ maka a mbụ Ụbọchị
First dates have the potential to change our lives. I realize that if you’re currently preparing for one, M eleghị anya nnọọ ka gị afo tụgharịa, na na m na-arịọ mgbaghara! The best way to enter into a first date is to relax, so forget the whole life-changing aspect. Kama, ka na-eche banyere mkparịta ụka.
Ya mere ọtụtụ ugboro, anyị na-eche na nke mbụ ụbọchị dị ka Job ajụjụ ọnụ, nke na-esetịpụrụ a ukwu ọnọdụ kpamkpam eme maka fun, na ihe ndị kasị nkịtị mmeghachi omume a ọrụ ọnụ bụ nervousness, nri? When we’re nervous, mgbe ụfọdụ anyị na-echefu ihe ndị kasị oké egwu mkparịta ụka ngwá ọrụ dị ka anyị mkpofu: na-ege ntị.
Nke a nwere ike iyi ihe dị mfe, but it’s amazingly sparse in today’s world. We focus so much on preparing our witty remarks or perfect delivery that we neglect to fully tune in to the other person. I’ve heard a lot of great one-liners, na m hụrụ n'anya na-akpa ọchị ụmụ okorobịa, ma ihe banyere Ihọd n'ezie ndị na-ege ntị na ihe ị na-ekwu? Ọfọn, he’s a keeper. If he’s funny, na-, mgbe ahụ, ị na-na na kpọrọ see jackpot.
Men chọrọ a nwaanyị onye na-ege ntị, kwa! I’m not talking about just hearing the words he says, although that is a critical first step. Actually listen to his words, ya ụda, ozu ya asụsụ, and his actions. Women tend to pay attention to these things very well, ma na mbụ ụbọchị, anyị na-abụkarị ga-esi otú lekwasịrị anya anyị onwe anyị (ejiji anyị na-, anyị ntutu, nri anyị na ezé, Ònye mba, na lipstick reapplications) na anyị na-echefu ihe mere anyị na n'ezie e.
Listening to your date is practically guaranteed to help the conversation flow. Bad listening skills, Pịnye A mmadụ? Here’s a formula:
1. Ajụjụ: Ọ bụrụ na gị ụbọchị okwu banyere ọrụ ọrụ ma ọ bụ ọdịmma onwe na ị na-adịghị aghọta, ma ọ bụ iwu ihe kwụsịrị menu ị na mgbe nụrụ, don’t feel silly asking questions. Ask away. People love to explain what they know a lot about, na ị dị nnọọ tụgharịa gị ụbọchị n'ime otu ọkachamara, whether that’s on car engines or sushi. Who doesn’t want to feel like an expert? We tend to talk so much more about our passions, N'ihi ya, ị na-amata na onye na a nwere ụzọ.
2. Kwusi: Allowing your date time to finish his or her thoughts is pretty standard – and can prove difficult when you’re excited or nervous – but taking it one step farther can really provide information. One great way of doing this is taking a sip of water as the person is finishing a thought. It gives people a silence to fill, na ọtụtụ ugboro na ị mara ihe banyere ha ndị a inclusions.
3. Ọmịiko: Ma eleghị anya, ọ dị nnọọ okokụre ya n'ókè, or perhaps he’s up for a promotion. Think of how you would feel in that position. You would probably want to talk about your favorite classes, ihe ị chọrọ ime na ubi, or the projects you’ve worked on to climb the ladder. Now you have great questions. This is an occasion where selfish thinking can prove very helpful in learning about someone else.
4. Megharịa: Ọ bụrụ na ị na na na otú nchegbu na ụjọ na i nwere brọkọlị araparawo ezé gị na dị nnọọ na-enweghị ike na-elekwasị anya na nkọwa nke ọrụ ya ebe mmetụta blindly maka kọmpat gị obere akpa, at the very least try to pick up on key words. Did he say data entry? Now you can ask questions about what kind of data, ma ọ bụrụ na nke a bụ ihe ọ hụrụ n'anya n'anya, or if he uses mass amounts of caffeine to survive it. But honestly, echefu kọmpat mgbe ị nwere ike, na dị nnọọ ịjụ ya!
N'ezie, ajụ ajụjụ banyere gị ụbọchị si Pita(s) is recommended. Not an animal lover? Check, biko. I say this in jest (na ụdị kpọrọ ihe.)
Enwe gị mbụ ụbọchị, zuo ike, na nwere fun! Just remember to listen. Your life may in fact change, ma hey, ọ dịghị nrụgide.