Fem Rednings Erfaringer fra Cats og relasjoner

Når jeg først møtte kjæresten min, Christopher, fem år siden, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Jeg tviler jeg selv hadde på seg dem 10 ganger, som høye hæler gjennomført de fleste av mine reiser til og fra klasse med mindre en tomme av is belagt campus, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Jeg pyntet den sistnevnte (noe.) A girly girl in every way, Jeg visste ikke hvordan å gjøre sweatpants pen eller føler deg komfortabel viser ansiktet mitt uten sminke maske, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, og jeg håper det gjør for andre kvinner, så vel.

Ikke at det er noe galt med sminke og stiletter - nyt dem! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:

1. Omfavne dine individuelle markeringer: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, Jeg mener jeg er alabast grenser gjennomskinnelig, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (bevisst) spurte om jeg hadde satt på selv garver, Jeg kom ren (selv om ikke i bokstavelig forstand, som som involverte en uke med peeling.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, og jeg følte meg så dum for å prøve å endre noe unikt med et produkt som luktet metallic og forlot min pyjamas og hvite kjoler grumset.

Våre samarbeidspartnere vil ha oss til å se ut som oss selv, og vi skulle ønske å, så vel. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.

Som for katter, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.

2. Ikke kroppen skam: To av mine katter er liten, to er av gjennomsnittlig bygge, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, og vi altfor ofte sette dem i situasjoner hvor de ikke kan vinne, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, og Kate Moss er alle forskjellige bygger, men er ikke de alle universelt ansett vakker?

For den lengste gangen, Jeg kunne ikke stå at beina ikke var pinne-tynne, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.

3. Nyt mat: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, men i bytte for at, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 enn jeg noen gang var i min ungdom.

Å spise sunt er en fantastisk ting, og jeg er en fast tro på å ta vare på seg selv (se nedenfor.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, skjønt, er en ganske stor ting, så vel. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.

4. Ta vare på deg selv: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (De er alle helt utslitt, forresten.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, vi stress over å snakke våre sinn, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. Katter, og menn for den saks skyld, har en tendens til å spotte og få det overstått, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, og de vet at det er bedre å la din sanne følelser vise enn å bære på en handling og blåse opp senere.

Ærlighet er viktig i relasjoner, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, så hvordan partneren din vil gi den til deg?

Dette er en så hard en, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, hvesende og purring er begge vanlige lyder, og indikerer de begge en type respekt: for andre og oss selv.

5. Eksistere i øyeblikket: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.

Min gamle skokolleksjon hadde noen nydelige farger og strappy pynt, og jeg har fortsatt ganske mange par som venter i skapet mitt for riktig antrekk, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Jeg pakket omtrent fem parene, imagining løse paljetter og fjær (tilsynelatende, i hodet mitt, Vegas betydde dressing som en showgirl.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. I stedet, mitt mål sandaler slå betong stripe som uke, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, Å vite at mine tidlige tyveårene selv har kjempet sammen med dem.

Mine katter ville aldri gå glipp av ekorn-ser bare slik at de kunne glatte pelsen tilbake på plass, og jeg kunne aldri ha holdt opp med Chris hadde jeg slitte sandaler med en 4 inch lift. Ofte, de beste ferier stole på fornuftige sko og tilbringer timer gjør praktisk talt ingenting.

Livet handler om å vokse, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, relasjoner kan dra nytte av selvtillit, ansvarlig ærlighet, and indulging in some treats now and then. Forhåpentligvis, vi finne en god balanse mellom hisses og (hovedsakelig) purrs underveis.


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