4 Nsonga kwa Choyamba Tsiku
Choyamba masiku angathe kusintha miyoyo yathu. Ine ndikuzindikira kuti ngati inu panopa akukonzekera wina, Ine mwina basi lanu m'mimba pepala, ndi kuti ine ndikupepesa! The best way to enter into a first date is to relax, so forget the whole life-changing aspect. M'malo, tiyeni tione kukambirana.
Nthawi zambiri, timaganiza za woyamba madeti ngati ntchito mafunso, amene ndithu amapereka wapadera maganizo osati kwathunthu abwino kungosangalala, ndipo ambiri anachita ntchito kuyankhulana ndi mantha, pomwe? When we’re nervous, nthawizina ife kuiwala kwambiri yovuta chitachitika chida wathu nazo: kumvetsera.
Izi zikhoza kumveka osavuta, but it’s amazingly sparse in today’s world. We focus so much on preparing our witty remarks or perfect delivery that we neglect to fully tune in to the other person. I’ve heard a lot of great one-liners, ndipo ndimakonda oseketsa anyamata, koma nanga bwanji munthu amene amamva zimene mukunena? Chabwino, he’s a keeper. If he’s funny, Komanso, ndiye inu kwambiri anagunda jackpot.
Amuna ndikufuna mkazi amene amamvetsera, Ifenso! I’m not talking about just hearing the words he says, although that is a critical first step. Actually listen to his words, wake kamvekedwe, thupi lake chinenero, and his actions. Women tend to pay attention to these things very well, koma choyamba madeti, ife nthawi zambiri mwakuti maganizo tokha (timavalira, tsitsi lathu, chakudya chathu mano, Amene m'mayiko, ndipo atadzipaka mmilomo reapplications) kuti ife kuiwala chifukwa ife tiri kwenikweni kumeneko.
Listening to your date is practically guaranteed to help the conversation flow. Bad listening skills, Lembani A umunthu? Here’s a formula:
1. Funso: Ngati tsiku nkhani za ntchito ntchito kapena zofuna kuti inu simukumvetsa, kapena malamulo chinachake pa menyu inu sanamvepo za, don’t feel silly asking questions. Ask away. People love to explain what they know a lot about, ndipo inu anangopotoloka wanu tsiku mu katswiri, whether that’s on car engines or sushi. Who doesn’t want to feel like an expert? We tend to talk so much more about our passions, kotero inu kudziwa kuti munthu m'njira yopindulitsa.
2. Kaye: Allowing your date time to finish his or her thoughts is pretty standard – and can prove difficult when you’re excited or nervous – but taking it one step farther can really provide information. One great way of doing this is taking a sip of water as the person is finishing a thought. It gives people a silence to fill, ndipo nthawi zambiri inu kudziwa zambiri za izi inclusions.
3. Kumvetsa: Mwina iye anamaliza digiri, or perhaps he’s up for a promotion. Think of how you would feel in that position. You would probably want to talk about your favorite classes, zimene mukufuna kuchita m'munda, or the projects you’ve worked on to climb the ladder. Now you have great questions. This is an occasion where selfish thinking can prove very helpful in learning about someone else.
4. Bwerezani: Ngati muli ndi nkhawa ndi mantha muli burokoli linalowa mkati mano ndi basi sangathe kuganizira mfundo za ntchito yake pamene maganizo mwakhungu kwa chogwirana wanu kachikwama, at the very least try to pick up on key words. Did he say data entry? Now you can ask questions about what kind of data, ngati chinachake amakonda, or if he uses mass amounts of caffeine to survive it. But honestly, Musaiwale chogwirana pamene mungathe, ndipo basi kumufunsa!
Kumene, kufunsa mafunso anu tsiku la Pet(m) is recommended. Not an animal lover? Check, chonde. I say this in jest (ndi otani kwambiri.)
Muzisangalala woyamba deti, khazikani mtima pansi, ndi kusangalala! Just remember to listen. Your life may in fact change, koma Hei, palibe mavuto.