N'chifukwa Men Chikondi chifundowo Mfumukazi Njuchi
Ichi ndi chibwenzi malo, ndi chibwenzi malo Pet okonda, chimodzimodzi. So can we talk for just a minute about female dogs? And I mean “wamkazi agalu” kwambiri euphemistic m'lingaliro, monga anafotokoza kuti canines, but their human species counterpart that gives female dogs their bad name. But because this is a SFW site and in an effort to give back to female dogs the respect and love they deserve—let’s talk instead about Heartless Queen Bees (kapena HQBs) ndipo amuna kuwakonda, nanga pali kuphunzira kuchokera kwa iwo kuti zathu maubwenzi abwino.
Time ndi nthawi kachiwiri, Ndakhala loyamba dzanja umboni chodabwitsa cha “zabwino ameneyo amakonda HQB”. It’s really a marvel to behold—a caring, mtundu mtima, mwaulemu ndi wopatsa munthu amene akuoneka kuti nthawi zonse malo kupinda pa chammbuyo ake HQB; and he seems to also love every minute of responding to her demands and bearing the brunt of her indiscriminate disdain. But these relationships are also some of the best I’ve seen in terms of longevity; ndipo nawonso, Ine anaŵerengera anapeza, mwa mawu ena digiri ya ubwenzi wabwino.
Kotero ife, monga wamakhalidwe, woganiza akazi chiyani pa HQBs kukopa ndi kusunga mtundu wa anthu kuti amaoneka kuti alibe vuto kukopa ndi kusunga?
1) HQBs ndi makhalidwe abwino
HQBs know who they are and what they want. They know what they bring to the table and they are interesting because their interests are their own and they may be unique from their partner’s interests. It is boring to date yourself, ndipo HQBs kuti anaganiza izi.
2) HQBs ndi lamulo lawo la padziko
An HQB Zikuoneka kuti lamulo la dziko mozungulira iye (ngati iye kwenikweni amachita kapena ayi). This quality provides a subconscious boost to her partner’s ego—if he has some control over making her happy, ndipo iye amailamulira “The World”, ali kulamulira “The World” by proxy. It’s that whole “ngati A = B ndi B = C, ndiye A = C” thing. How does this translate into a useful tip? Decent, thoughtful people like you and me tend to not be very assertive with our actions and communication. Being assertive is much different than being aggressive, amene lenileni M.O. anu pafupifupi HQB ndi zimene amapereka kuti zoipa ndalandira, tenuous kulamulira “The World”. But being more assertive will yield a greater command of your world, without the otherwise negative results of aggression. One example of this is simply to state what you want and why it makes sense from your perspective, sans ndi wonyozeka, kudzichepetsa mkwiyo kawirikawiri ntchito vuto zopempha ndi HQBs.
3) Yomwe wotchuka ndi kuwonedwa, “Amuna Monga Challenge”!
Angati chibwenzi nkhani komanso mabuku ndi mukuwerenga kuti ndi odzipereka kwa ena buku la ganizo kuti amuna ngati akaonekere ndi vuto, kotero amaona owonjezera wapadera pamene amatha kugonjetsa anati vuto? Koma, okha, will speak of finding the more elusive woman more attractive than the one who is an always-available open book. Sometimes elusiveness manifests as—how should I say—being a little stingy with expressing any kind of positive emotion or feedback (amene ali kumene HQBs anabwera). Some men can’t resist the challenge of trying to illicit any kind of pleasant response from an HQB and so she becomes an object of great interest.
Kodi inu (kachiwiri, monga wamakhalidwe, woganiza mkazi ndinu) kutembenukira wekha mu kukhala zovuta? This can easily become the disingenuous game-playing that books like “The Malamulo” (Fein ndi Schneider) onse, which may not work for everyone and may leave you ill-feeling and confused about what to say and when. M'malo, build up your life to be genuinely full and exciting—making you a true challenge to nail down a date with. Not only will it check off that whole “kovuta” amanena kuti ungracefully amadziwika HQBs (kuti anthu kupeza chokopa), koma tsiku kuona kuti kuli ofunika pamene inu ananena kuti ndalama zanu bwino kwambiri nthawi naye.
4) No masewera
Ikubwera nthawi imene anthu asiye kumvera mongolota masewera kaya ichi pamaziko a iwo pokhala pang'ono okhwima, or the relationship itself having grown beyond its initial flirtation. Perhaps this tip can be at least partially credited with the whole “longevity” anomaly presented by HQB/Nice Guy relationships. HQBs say what they want, and when they want it. There are few games and intangibles in dealing with an HQB, and many men find this refreshing. This ties in elements from a couple of previous tips—in being straightforward with your communication (I.E. pokhala wamakani), ndi bwino zimene mukufuna kuchokera mnzanuyo ngati iye si kale kupereka izo, inu anafotokoza Vuto amene mosakayikira adzakumana nawo pakupita kukakumana chifukwa ndakhala bwino ndipo simudzaopa ake khama pachabe.
Choncho, Mtundu Mitima-mtima, ndipo nsonga kuti mtima ndipo mwina tikhoza kutenga pang'ono zazikulu cholowa cha zabwino Guy msika tokha!