| In loving memory: |
AN UNSELFISH LOVE
When my ex-fiance and I first moved in together, all I
could think about was getting a puppy. I always had a
dog at one time or another growing up. For some
reason, it was security for me. My father worked all
the time and my mother was so busy taking care of my
sister and brother and I. She was always trying to
give us twice the attention.
It was a beautiful fall day when we got Blake. I was
so excited that I had talked my way into getting a
puppy, it did not matter what he/she looked like, I
loved them all. My fiance was from the Phillipines and
I never realized our differences until we drove up to
get Blake. We stopped for directions in this small
town and walked into a local store. Accustomed to the
"guy" paying attention to the directions, I let my
mind wonder. I suddenly looked up to see my fiance
had gone back out to the car. I was mortified. When I
asked why he walked off, he said "Honey, I don't think
they have ever seen an Asian before". It then hit me
that there were subtle differences between us, but it
did not matter, we were getting a puppy and we would
be a family.
Within a few weeks of getting Blake, when I would get
ready for work, he would constantly cry for me to pick
him up. It was always when I was in the bathroom
doing my hair. It became so frustrating that I
blurted out to my fiance one day to find him another
home, I could not take the whining anymore. But, he
knew I was just frustrated at the time.
Before you know it, one day, and I do not remember
exactly when, he just somehow wrapped me around his
little paw. I remember once when he was little, I
crawled on the floor and blew in his face. At first he
just shook his head and I laughed and laughed. I kept
blowing and then he started growling at me. By this
time I was hysterical with laughter, so I kept on.
Well, he finally had enough and for the first time, he
snapped at me and he caught me in the corner of my
right eye. My feelings were hurt more than anything
but my fiance witnessed it and started to chase Blake
and he ran under the dining room table. I told him
that he better not lay one hand on Blake. It was my
fault - when he growled at me, it was his way of
telling me to please stop, that he did not like what I
was doing to him.
As time went on, so did my love for this little guy.
For his birthday, I would get him a steak from Outback
steak house. Always telling them that I did not care
how big it was, but to make sure it was a nice t-bone
as it was for my dog. Whenever I would go out to eat,
I would always set some of my meal aside for Blake.
He adored sugar snapped peas and bean sprouts.
I was so blessed that he never really got sick over
the years. The first time he ever got sick, his
sodium and potassium levels were sky high and the vet
called me back the same afternoon of my visit to make
sure I knew where the nearest vet emergency room in
case he went into shock. I just sat there and stared
in disbelief, I watched him sleep & I couldn't take my
eyes off of him. He recovered but he had to go on a
diet of white chicken meat, brown rice. Cooking for
him
was so automatic, and it caused me to eat better too.
Years went by, so many memories were made, then the
inevitable happened. The third week of Sepember, we
were taking a walk and I felt some resistance on the
leash. I looked back to see him holding up his back
right let. Rushing him to the vet, they stated that
he had somehow torn the ligament in his leg and the
top part was not attached to the bottom part. I was
devastated. They went on to discuss possible surgery
but he was to turn 13 on October 26th and they stated
it was such a dangerous surgery. My mind raced at the
thought of him no longer being in my life. Before I
had any chance to process what was happening, they
informed me that they had found a tumor on his spine,
one on his tail and a severely enlarged prostate. It
was then that they discussed the possibility that I
may have to consider letting him go. The vet stated
that they could give me enough pain medicine for him
to last a few more days but I could not do that to
him. I loved him too much. So, I had to chose to do
the hurting instead of Blake.
The day I said goodbye, I sat on the floor of the vets
office. There were two shots. The first one to make
him relax, the second to stop his heart. Once he was
relaxed, in between tears, I thanked him for teaching
me to put someone else before me and asked him to
please watch out for all of the Katrina dogs that were
lost after the hurricane. To please guide them to food
and water. Then, he was gone. As quickly as Blake
came into my life, he left. It was such a devastating
experience, I was unable to function. I just
completely shut down. It has been six months and it
still hurts so much, I cannot bring myself to look at
his
pictures. When I look back, I kept thinking if I loved
him enough, he would live forever. This is a tribute
to
his life and I thank him for being such an inspiring
part of it. Blake taught me how to be patient, how to
love and how to let go and I will be forever grateful
for that. |
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My Pet Buddies
