Rocky had been diagnosed with squamous-cell carcinoma in his mouth, in August 2004. He experienced trouble breathing in November. He was congested, wheezing, and short of breath. He struggled to get comfortable and slept with difficulty. He began turning his nose up at food, eating sporadic meals. This made it difficult for him to get his medication, further making him uncomfortable. I took him to Animal Medical Center November 17th, where Rocky’s vet, optimistic in October, was now alarmed at his condition. Rocky’s lymph nodes were ‘huge,’ the vet said, and Rocky’s weakened condition was notable. The vet extracted fluid from the lymph nodes and told me cancer had spread to his lymph nodes. He was in discomfort, to be certain, and probably in some pain (I couldn’t tell because Rocky isn’t a whimperer. He never complains.) The prognosis was not good. In as little as a day, or perhaps a week, Rocky would be unable to breathe, as the rapidly spreading cancer invaded his nodes, and his neck constricted. The doctor told me every breath was as difficult as if one had climbed several flights of stairs. Asphyxiation, the vet reminded me, is a torturous way to die. This was in the cards, shortly. I took Rocky back to the hospital November 18th and stopped his suffering. I held him in my arms and the vet administered an overdose through a catheter. Rocky’s head slumped into my hands, and he lay still. He felt no pain. The whole thing lasted a few seconds. I kissed him goodbye one last time. He would have turned 16 December 1st.

Some animals have a handful of discernible personality traits--hunger, fear, separation. Rocky had about 20, all subtle, all noticeable. When Aretha misbehaves, Rocky used to look at me as if to say, "I feel your pain." Now that Rocky's gone, Aretha has turned out to be a much warmer, friendlier pet. I take her to work with me every day. She hops into her little Sherpa bag and rides the subway to/fro work with me. She's the belle of the office.

My dad lives in Manhattan and doesn't own a car. He used to travel much more often for business. In 1995, he spent >$7,000 on limousine service transporting us to an outdoor kennel 2 1/2 hours away. I wonder if every dog has it so good. He wishes he could come back in his second life as one of his own dogs.

I am a man seeking a woman age any to any

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