5 Steps to Faatoilaloina o papupuni Fesootaiga Sootaga
Ulugalii fetaiai mautinoa lava hiccups fesootaiga i le ala, pe o loo latou faatoa tafafao faamasani po o le faamanatuina faatasi tausaga. These missteps are difficult to maneuver and require conscious efforts from both partners. Remembering the following tips will prove helpful in those eventual disagreements:
1. Aloese mai le togafitiga leoa: alii uma ma tamaitai ua tausalaina o lenei metotia, and it’s incredibly dangerous and destructive. Shutting down is essentially shutting your partner out, and that’s not beneficial to addressing the real issues at hand. As hard as it may seem, faaaoga i au upu e faaali atu ai ou lagona, and don’t be afraid to get specific. manatua, ua alu le tagata saʻo e galulue faatasi ma oe i faafitauli sootaga, le faaaogaina o lou lagona ao ututau ia te outou.
2. Aua le faia ni manatu: Tutusa i le togafitiga leoa, manatu o le isi faataitaiga o le tuua o manatu o lau paaga, and it’s simply not fair to either person. You may assume that his short responses mean he’s lost interest, but he may just have a lot going on at work. If you don’t ask and rely instead on your imagination, e te le maua ai le upu moni, ma e fai lava si mafai faatuina oe lava mo se finauga tele i le iuga.
3. amioga lelei Faamalo: Afai e te lagona e pei o lau soa e le o faaalia ai e le tele o le alofa e pei ona, try bringing it up in a complimentary way through suggestion. “I really love your hugs,"ma, "Ou te misia lou taeao savali mau,” are both non-threatening examples of encouraging the actions you desire. O lenei auala, e te maua atu lou manatu i le isi itu ma so o se gagana accusatory.
4. Lava ou lagona: O alii ma tamaitai o ni lagona, but they tend to show those emotions in completely different ways. A woman may cry, and a man may fume. Both are valid emotional responses, and both belong to the person who feels them. Rather than telling your partner, "E faia e te lagona valea,"Lea o se faamatalaga accusatory, faamatala atu ou lagona i se leo possessive, ma tuuina atu se faamalamalamaga.
Faataitaiga, "Sa ou lagonaina valea pe ae faia le tala malie uluvāivai gugu" e itiiti ifo nai lo fīnau, “you always make me feel stupid.” The first statement also gives your partner a chance to explain himself and lets him know the real source of the issue.
5. tumau lelei: o se toughie lenei, Ou te iloa! It’s so easy to get angry or say things you don’t mean. Do your best to stay positive and work toward resolving the issue healthily. moni, things are going to blow up sometimes. That’s a normal part of two people sharing their lives together. Just remember to stay mindful of the reasons you’re together in the first place, ma tuu le taulai atu i le faatumauina o sootaga.