Lima Olaga Lesona na Aoaoina Mai pusi ma Sootaga
Ina ua ou faatoa feiloai i loʻu uo tama, Christopher, lima tausaga talu ai, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Ou masalosalo i ou ofuina i latou lava 10 taimi, e pei ona tauaveina maualuga mulivae le tele o loʻu malaga atu i ma mai le vasega ae vagana ai se inisi o le aisa coated le lotoa, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Ou embellished le gata (teisi.) A girly girl in every way, Ou te lei iloa pe faapefea ona faia sweatpants aulelei po o le lagona mafanafana e faaalia o oʻu mata e aunoa ma se ufimata o vali, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, ma ou te faamoemoe o le faia mo isi tamaitai, faapena foi a'u.
E le faapea o loo i ai se mea sese ma o vali ma stilettos - olioli i latou! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:
1. Opogi la outou faailoga tagata: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, Ou uiga ou te alabaster tuaoi translucent, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (ma le iloa lelei) fesiligia pe sa ou tuu i luga o le tagata lava ia-Tanner, Ou sau mama (e ui lava e le o le uiga moni, e pei o lena o aafia ai i le vaiaso o exfoliation.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, ma sa ou lagonaina le valea mo le taumafai e suia se mea e tulaga ese i se oloa e namu apamemea ma tuua ai e loʻu ofu moe ma ofu sisina muddied.
Tatou paaga tatou te foliga e pei oi tatou lava, ma e tatau ona tatou mananao e, faapena foi a'u. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.
A o pusi, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.
2. Aua le maasiasi tino: Lua o loʻu pusi e laitiiti, e lua o fausia averesi, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, ma i tatou uma-foi-e masani ona tuu i latou i le tulaga e mafai ona latou le manumalo, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, ma e Kate Moss eseese fausia uma, ae ua latou le matagofie faapea le lalolagi atoa uma?
Mo le taimi umi, Le mafai ona ou tu e lei tumau-manifinifi oʻu vae, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.
3. fiafia meaai: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, ae i le fesuiaiga o tupe mo lena, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 nai lo ou lava sa i ai i loʻu talavou.
'Ai le soifua maloloina o se mea matagofie, ma ou te a talitonu mausali i le tausiga o le tagata lava ia (vaai i lalo.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, e ui ina, o se mea tele aulelei, faapena foi a'u. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.
4. Faaetete lou tagata: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (o loo latou vaivai matua uma, e ui o lea.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, tatou faamamafa i luga o tautala o tatou mafaufau, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. pusi, ma tagata mo lena mataupu, ua i ai se faanaunauga e mapumapu ma maua ai i luga i, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, ma ua latou iloa e sili ai le tuu mai o outou lagona moni faaali nai lo le tauaveina i luga o se gaoioiga ma ili ae mulimuli ane.
O le faamaoni e taua i sootaga, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, lea auala o le a tuuina atu e lau soa ia te oe?
o se tasi malosi pei o lenei, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, pasī ma purring o ni leo masani, ma latou faailoa uma a ituaiga o le faaaloalo: mo isi ma i tatou lava.
5. I ai i le taimi: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.
Loʻu aoina seevae tuai sa i ai ni lanu matagofie ma embellishments strappy, ma sa ou maua pea lava ni nai taitoalua faatalitali i loʻu afeafe mo le outfit tauagavale, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Ou teuina e uiga i taitoalua lima, vaai faalema- faufau i sequins ma fulu gata (faʻapea, i loʻu ulu, o lona uiga o le faaofuina o Vegas pei o se showgirl.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. Nai lo, loʻu seevae Taunuuga sasa le pepa sima i lena vaiaso, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, le tagata lava ia le iloaina faatoa luasefulu ou tausaga o le a tauivi faatasi ma i latou.
le a lava misia loʻu pusi i sikiurele-matamata faapea lava ona mafai ona latou faamafolafola toe latou fulufulu i nofoaga, ma ou te le mafai ona tausia ai i Chris sa ou seevae tuai ma se 4 inch lift. Oftentimes, le mea sili tafaoga faalagolago i itula māfaufau seevae ma faaalu faia O lona leai se mea.
O le olaga uma e uiga i le tuputupu ae, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, e mafai ona faamanuiaina sootaga mai le lagona mautinoa, faamaoni nafa, and indulging in some treats now and then. faʻamoemoeina, tatou te maua ai se paleni lelei o hisses ma (o le tele lava) purrs i le ala.