Shan Life baranay cashar Cats iyo Xiriirka
Markii ugu horeysay ee aan la kulmay saaxiibkay, Christopher, shan sano ka hor, I had only one pair of flat shoes – scuffed boots from college. Thinking back on my undergraduate experience, Waxaan shaki waxaan kulligood ku soo xirtay 10 times, sida u gaddoomaysaan sare u qaadeen ugu socdaalada aan si oo ka fasalka haddii aan hal inji oo baraf ah dahaarka campus, at which point I relied on a wedge. Alright, Waxaan embellished dambaysta ah (xoogaa.) A girly girl in every way, Anigu ma aan aqoonin sida loo sameeyo duluca quruxsan ama dareento raaxo leh oo tusaya inaan wejigayga aan maaskaro qurxiyo a, and I never foresaw this changing. But it did, oo waxaan rajeynayaa in uu sameeyo dumarka kale, sidoo.
Ma aha in ay jiraan wax qalad ah la isku qurxiyo iyo stilettos - iyaga ku raaxaystaan! Just don’t depend on them. When I look at magazines and the constant barrage of media surrounding us, I don’t have to wonder why so many women are on shaky ground in the confidence department. I share with you the following lessons I’ve learned from my feline companions and the straight-shooting man in my life:
1. Misna aad calaamad ah shaqsi: On one of my first summer dates with Chris, I panicked about how pale I looked and resorted to self-tanner. When I say I’m pale, Waxaan ula jeedaa anigu ahay weel alabastar ah oo xuduud la translucent, so this quick-fix led to nothing but streaks of orange and regret. When he (og) warsan haddii aan hore usoo saaray is-megdeeye, Anigu nadiif baan yimid (inkasta oo aan in dareenka suugaan, sida in muddo isbuuc ah oo exfoliation lug.) He asked me why I would do that considering I had a beautiful and rare skin tone. I’d never heard anyone refer to my skin that way, iyo waxaan dareemay sidaas doqon ah ee isku dayaya in la beddelo wax u gaar ah oo leh taran ka urin macdan ah iyo dhar hurdo iyo dhar cad tashuush ku tagay.
Ururda wadashaqayn naga rabto in aad eegto waxaan bashar, oo waa in aynu doonaynaa in aynu, sidoo. It’s similar to having a dating profile photo that looks nothing like you, photoshopped past the point of recognition. We’re all unique, and those things that make us different also make us stand out from the crowd. Find the confidence to show your real markings and not covet others’.
Sida bisadaha, the same holds true. A calico is no more beautifully marked than a tabby – it’s all in the eye of the beholder.
2. Ma beertid jidhka ceeb: Laba ka mid ah bisadaha my yar yar yihiin, laba ka mid ah dhisayo celcelis, and two are large. They do not know this. My biggest cat jumps on the cats half his size and wonders why they aren’t thrilled with the wrestling play date. If only women could stop the body-bashing we both despise and oddly facilitate. We come in all kinds of shapes and sizes, and yet I hear so many of my friends go on and on about perceived body flaws. These perceptions are then coupled with fears about how men view their bodies in comparison to Victoria’s Secret models. That kind of self-talk leads to generalizations we make about not only our own bodies, but bodies in general. I cringe when I hear quotes like, “Real women are curvy.” Beautiful women come in an array of shapes, so let’s embrace whatever figure sees us in our healthiest form. Men don’t want to hear us tear apart our bodies, oo aynu wada-aad-marar badan ku riday xaalado ay ku guulaysan karin, no matter their responses. Kate Upton, Kate Winslet, iyo Kate Moss ayaa dhamaantood kala duwan dhistaa, laakiin kuma dhammaan adduunka loo arko qurux badan?
Markii ugu dheer, Anigu ma istaagi karin in lugaha iga ayaa ku eekaan-dhuuban, so imagine my surprise when Chris told me that he loved my legs and recommended that I wear more shorts and skirts. The right person is going to like your body and not force you to reshape it. Always remember that.
3. Ku raaxayso cunto: Ah, the thrill of treats. When I shake that bag of enticement, all six of my cats charge forward at my feet. They love food to the point where it’s an event. Who can blame them? Like so many women, I waged war with food as I suffered the above-noted body shame of not feeling perfectly svelte in a bikini. I weigh five pounds more now than when Chris and I first met, laakiin beddelkeeda in, I’ve shared lots of pizza with him during Friday night TV binges. I wouldn’t trade those for any number on the scale. I’m far more comfortable with my body at 31 badan ayaan abid ahaa in aan dhalinyarada.
Cunista caafimaad leh waa wax la yaab leh, oo waxaan ahay Mu'min si adag in daryeelka baxo uuna isku mid ah (hoos ka eeg.) Enjoying life and all its flavors, inkasta oo, waa wax quruxsan weyn, sidoo. Don’t focus so much on your calorie intake that you lose track of enjoying the meal – and the conversation that accompanies it.
4. Is ogow naftaada: When my cats are tired, they sleep. (Waxa ay dhammaan ahaanba daallan, by Jidka.) When another cat upsets them or invades a designated space, they have no reluctance in voicing disdain. So often, waxaan ku adkaysato in ka badan hadlayay maankiinna, or we let someone treat us in a way that we wouldn’t treat someone else. Cats, iyo ragga, amar ah in, leedahay u janjeera in ay ku foodhyaan oo ay si weyn ula, thus moving on with their lives and not holding on to resentment or bitterness. They usually don’t take things so personally, oo iyagu og yihiin in ay fiican tahay inaad dareen run ah oo aad tusto ka badan si ay u fuliyaan on ficil iyo qarxiyaan dambe.
Daacadnimo waa muhiim in xiriirka, and the right partner will love you even when you’re less than loveable to the outside world. If you can’t voice what you really want, Haddaba sidee lammaanahaaga idin siinayaa inay?
Tani waa mid ku adag, especially for those of us who strive toward agreeableness. If it’s any help, try to think of wording things in a way that you would not take offense at if they were said to you. That way, you’re saying what you think without having to lose sleep over the issue. The more you do this, the more naturally it will come to you. In my home, foodhyo iyo purring yihiin labada dhawaaq caadi ah, oo labadoodiina waxay tilmaamayaan nooc ka mid ah ixtiraamka: dadka kale iyo nafteena.
5. Ka jira xilligan: I’m always amazed at how my cats watch birds with a focus similar to how Chris plays video games. The old adage of stopping to smell the roses is famous for a reason – which brings me back to high heels.
My jir ururinta kabaha lahaa qaar ka mid ah midabo kala qurux iyo embellishments strappy, wali waxaan sii yara Lab dhowr sugayaan in aan armaajo ka dhisan xaq u, or at least for this polar vortex to lose its grip. When Chris and I went on our first trip together to Las Vegas, Waxaan soo buuxiyey oo ku saabsan shan lammaane, curiyo sequins aan dhamaadka lahayn, oo baadad (muuqata, ee madaxayga, Vegas uu macnihiisu yahay xirashada sida showgirl ah.) How many of those pairs did I end up wearing? Zero. Halkii, kabo Target aan ku garaacday looxa la taaban karo isbuucii in, and I remember feeling so thankful I had them. Countless girls struggled around us in platform shoes, crippled by peep-toe torture. I sincerely wanted to offer them a bench and some band-aids, gartay labaataneeyada aan hore is ku dhibtoon lahaa inuu iyaga ka garab.
Bisadaha My marnaba ka maqnaan doono on Dabagaale-daawanayay oo kaliya si ay waafajinta yaabaa dhogortooda dib meel, oo aan marnaba diidi karaa ilaa la Chris lahaa waxaan kabo madhay la a 4 inch lift. Taa darteed marar badan, ee fasaxa ugu wanaagsan ee ay ku tiirsan yihiin saacadaha kabaha iyo kharashka macquul ah oo aan waxba qabaneyn ficil.
Life waa dhan oo ku saabsan sii kordhaya, and relationships can help us better understand ourselves as we stumble and succeed. Likewise, xiriirka ka faa'iideysan karaan is-aaminaadda, daacad ka masuul, and indulging in some treats now and then. Waxaan rajeynayaa, waxaan dheelitir fiican loo helo of hisses iyo (inta badan) purrs jidka.