4 Iingcebiso mhla First
First dates have the potential to change our lives. I realize that if you’re currently preparing for one, Mhlawumbi nje wenza flip sakho isisu, kwaye ukuba uxolo! The best way to enter into a first date is to relax, so forget the whole life-changing aspect. kunokuba, makhe siqwalasele incoko.
izihlandlo ezininzi, sicinga kwemihla okuqala kudliwano, leyo ngokuqinisekileyo kucwangcisa mood ingqungquthela akancedi ngokupheleleyo yokuzonwabisa, kunye nento eyayiza zixhaphakileyo ukuba ndlebe lomsebenzi ukuphakuzela, kunene? When we’re nervous, ngamanye amaxesha siyazilibala sesona sixhobo kakhulu encokweni njengoko lwethu: ukuphulaphula.
Oku kuse- ezilula, but it’s amazingly sparse in today’s world. We focus so much on preparing our witty remarks or perfect delivery that we neglect to fully tune in to the other person. I’ve heard a lot of great one-liners, yaye ndiyakuthanda guys funny, kodwa kuthekani mfo ngoobani uyakuphulaphula nto uyithethayo? kakuhle, he’s a keeper. If he’s funny, ngokunjalo, yazi ukuba nzulu betha iJekhpoth.
Madoda afune umfazi ophulaphula, kakhulu! I’m not talking about just hearing the words he says, although that is a critical first step. Actually listen to his words, ilizwi lakhe, ulwimi umzimba wakhe, and his actions. Women tend to pay attention to these things very well, kodwa ngemihla kuqala, thina vela kangangokuba wanikela kwiziqu (yokunxiba, iinwele ethu, ukutya amazinyo zethu, owahlawula, kunye reapplications ilipstiki) ukuba silibale isizathu sokuba sibe ngokwenene kukho.
Listening to your date is practically guaranteed to help the conversation flow. Bad listening skills, Uhlobo A kubuntu? Here’s a formula:
1. umbuzo: Ukuba iintetho zakho umhla malunga nemisebenzi umsebenzi okanye imidla yobuqu ukuba ningaqondi, okanye imiyalelo into ngaphandle kwimenyu Andizange ndeva, don’t feel silly asking questions. Ask away. People love to explain what they know a lot about, kwaye niwalile kanye umhla wakho ingcaphephe, whether that’s on car engines or sushi. Who doesn’t want to feel like an expert? We tend to talk so much more about our passions, ukuze wena ukwazi ukuba umntu ngendlela enentsingiselo.
2. nqumama: Allowing your date time to finish his or her thoughts is pretty standard – and can prove difficult when you’re excited or nervous – but taking it one step farther can really provide information. One great way of doing this is taking a sip of water as the person is finishing a thought. It gives people a silence to fill, kwaye amaxesha amaninzi ufumana ukwazi okungakumbi ngabo kwezi inclusions.
3. uyayiqonda indlela awayevakale-: Mhlawumbi akugqiba nje isidanga, or perhaps he’s up for a promotion. Think of how you would feel in that position. You would probably want to talk about your favorite classes, into ofuna ukuyenza endle, or the projects you’ve worked on to climb the ladder. Now you have great questions. This is an occasion where selfish thinking can prove very helpful in learning about someone else.
4. phinda: Ukuba abachaphazelekayo luvo ukwenzela ukuba brokholi exabileyo amazinyo akho kwaye nje nako ukuze baqwalasele iinkcukacha yomsebenzi wakhe xa uziva baziimfama ngenxa sibumbeneyo ebhegini yakho, at the very least try to pick up on key words. Did he say data entry? Now you can ask questions about what kind of data, ukuba le into ayithandayo, or if he uses mass amounts of caffeine to survive it. But honestly, niwulibale compact xa unako, kwaye ucele nje kuye!
Kanjalo, ngokubuza imibuzo malunga pet umhla wakho(s) is recommended. Not an animal lover? Check, ndiyacela. I say this in jest (kwaye uhlobo nzulu.)
Nandipha umhla wakho kuqala, Phola, kwaye wonwabe! Just remember to listen. Your life may in fact change, kodwa hey, akukho uxinzelelo.