Yog vim li cas Koj nyob nraum Tseem Single – Tau Tshaj Nws

Xeem tshiab: Sep. 12 2019 | 6 min nyeem

Txhua yam kuv twb kawm txog kev daws teeb meem, Kuv kawm los ntawm Kenny Rogers. Kuv nco txog ib hmo rov qab nyob rau hauv 1977: Kuv tau poob, ntaus lub raj mis, ua teeb meem nyob rau hauv tsev. Ntawm chav kawm, Kuv muaj tsib xyoo, yog li koj yuav hais tias kuv tsis paub zoo, tab sis Kenny yuav tsis cia kuv tawm lub sib ntsib. Nyob rau ntawm lub taw tes, nws twb paub feem ntau rau nws 1974 ntaus, Lucille. Tab sis raws li lub npias ntws thiab lub moos ho, thiab kuv tham txog yuav ua li cas Kuv twb tau sib ntaus sib tua nrog kuv poj niam laus, Kenny pw nws tag nrho tawm rau kuv li dawb raws li qhov Texas lub caij ntuj sov ntuj.

“Koj twb tau txais los paub tias thaum twg mus hold'em, paub tias thaum twg mus fold'em.”

Txhais lus: Yog hais tias koj nyob rau hauv lub poob thaum xaus ntawm ib tug cav, koj zoo dua kawm rau kaw lub ntuj raug txim thiab thov txim.

Ib tug hluas nkauj kuv twb yeej tsom txog dab tsi zoo ntawm kev hnav ris tsho hnav mus rau ib tug phooj ywg tshoob. Nws yog nyob rau hnub Sunday tav su nyob rau hauv lub yim hli ntuj, li ntawd dub yog tawm, liab heev showy, thiab dawb yog ib qho cuab no-no. Nws thiaj yuav ploj mus xaiv ib tug kub-nrhiav lavender txhob lo lo ntxhuav tooj, uas ua rau peb zoo siab heev ob . . . kom txog thaum peb taug kev mus rau hauv thiab pom hais tias nws twb hnav khaub ncaws zoo li tag nrho cov Bridesmaids.

Hais tias tsis yog lub teeb meem tiag tiag. Lub teeb meem tiag tiag yog hais tias kuv luag. Feem ntau vim hais tias nws yog funny. Tej zaum ib feem ntawm kuv xav hais tias peb yuav dag peb txoj kev yav dhau los no me txaav, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog txij thaum muaj ib yam dab tsi peb yuav ua li cas txog nws. Uh uh. Tsis tsuas tau kuv tus hluas nkauj poob plig los ntawm lub wardrobe zoo, tab sis kuv jocular yam dug kuv ib lub qhov rau hauv lub loj ntawm cov neeg pej xeem hav cuam kawb. Tom qab ib tug ob peb feeb ntawm sim tau nws mus saib lub lighter sab ntawm qhov teeb meem no, Kuv pom tau hais tias lub xwb ces kuv yuav ua li cas yog thov txim profusely thiab empathize nrog rau nws plight. Ob peb hnub thiab ib tug tag nrho ntau lub kua muag rau yav tom ntej, peb ua li. Tsis yog hais tias muaj kuv txog Kenny lub tswv yim los ntawm lub tau-mus, Kuv yuav tau txais kev cawmdim rau peb ob tug tag nrho ntau ntawm cov teeb meem.

“Paub tias thaum twg mus taug kev deb, paub tias thaum twg khiav.”

Txhais lus: Yog hais tias koj tsis tau pom zoo tsis pom zoo, koj nyob rau hauv rau ib co ntev heev hmo no nyob rau ntawm lub qab nthab los yog pw nyob rau hauv lub rooj zaum.

Piav qhia: Pom zoo tsis pom zoo yog qhov tseem ceeb tshaj plaws ib feem ntawm Tau Tshaj Nws, vim hais tias yog tsis muaj tus pab hais uas yuav mus rau kauj ruam nyob rau hauv thiab puav pheej koj cov ntsiab lus xwb vim hais tias koj 65 feem pua ​​txoj cai thiab nws yog 35 feem pua ​​txoj cai. Txawm yog hais tias muaj, txawm hais tias koj tallied tag nrho cov sib cav ntsiab lus hais tias koj twb puas tau yeej koj hapless, mob-paub tus hluas nraug, koj yuav tau ua rau lawv? Tsis muaj dab tsi. “Winning” cov lus yuav siv sij hawm kom ntau li ntau lub sij hawm raws li winning 3,000 Skee-Pob daim pib — thiab muaj txog qhov sib npaug nqi. Li ntawd tsuas yog ib tug puv tes ntawm kab laug sab rings thiab Superballs yog ib qho tseem ceeb rau koj, nws yog feem ntau zoo tshaj plaws rau cia li cia nws nyob ib leeg.


“Koj yeej tsis suav koj cov nyiaj thaum koj nyob nraum sittin’ nyob rau ntawm lub rooj / Muaj yuav txaus rau countin’ thaum lub dealin yog ua li cas.”

Txhais lus: Nrog koj zoo siab, koj yeej sib ntaus. Tam sim no yuav yog ib tug siab dav khiav thiab yeej tsis coj mus rau ntawm lub topic dua.

Piav qhia: Tej zaum tej yam uas yog clear-txiav. Nws pib ib tug sib ntaus nrog ib tug txiv leej tub nyob rau ntawm lub movies. Nws tau txais qaug dej qaug cawv thiab ua ib tug neeg ruam tawm ntawm nws tus kheej ntawm ib tug noj hmo party. Nws tsis nco qab tias koj tau npaj noj hmo thiab sab laug koj tos rau ob teev. Nyob rau hauv xws zaus, nws twb tsis muaj kev zam txim rau justifiable. Qhov no tsis tau txhais hais tias nws yuav tsis txhob txua ib, thiab nws tsis tau txhais hais tias nws yuav tsis Cobble ua ke ib yam dab tsi uas suab semi-tsim nyog. Tab sis txawm nws motives, nws ua tsis ncaj ncees lawm, thiab nws yog gotta kauj ruam thiab thov txim. Thiab koj, hauv chav kawm ntawv txoj cai uas koj muaj, tau txais nws thov txim thiab cia nws mus. Tsis muaj allusions rau yav dhau los tsis sib haum. Tsis muaj khaws cia li mos txwv rau yav tom ntej battles. Thiab yeej tsis muaj passive-txhoj puab heev comments. Koj nyob nraum txoj cai, nws yog tsis ncaj ncees lawm, txav mus rau!

Ib ob peb kuv paub muaj lawv qhia tawm ntawm kev sib squabbles. Ib thaum yav tsaus ntuj, hnub tom qab ib tug touchy sib cav hais tias lawv tau pom zoo tau patched li, tus txiv tuaj hauv tsev nrog ob tug bouquets ntawm paj. Txawm tias muaj “kaj siab lug” hais tias lawv tau ua thiab cov floral piav tes piav taw, tus poj niam tseem nyob li pissy thiab pob zeb-faced li yog hais tias nws twb cia li skinned nws miv. Tsis zoo. Tom qab koj ua li, koj yuav tsum cia tej yam uas mus, tshwj xeeb tshaj yog nyob rau hauv pem hauv ntej ntawm lwm tus neeg. Kuv paub lwm ob peb nyob rau hauv uas tus poj niam tas li berated nws tus txiv rau nws cov hauj lwm xaiv (txawj sau ntawv), txawm hais tias nws muaj txij nkawm nws paub tag nrho zoo nws xaiv txoj hauj lwm. Tsis tsuas yog nws tsis zoo jibes muaj tseeb cuam tshuam rau nws cog qoob loo, tab sis nws ua txhua leej txhua tus ib ncig ntawm lawv ua luaj seeb. Ntawm chav kawm, lo lus “thov txim” tsis kho tag nrho, tsis ua ib ob peb bouquets ntawm paj, tab sis seb koj yuav tau ua li cas thaum txhua yam tau hais? Yuav ua li cas muaj nuj nqis yog muaj nyob rau hauv hashing tawm tib qhov teeb meem tshaj thiab tshaj dua?

Nws yog ib tug tshaj plaws yuav tsum tau tag nrho hais txog sib koom siab, thiab muaj ib yam ib txwm yeej yog ib tug tuag nees mus rau hauv ib co dab tuag, nplaum kua nplaum. Kuv yuav tsis piv koj precious kev sib raug zoo nrog nees-raws li kua nplaum, tab sis Kenny yuav, thiab txij li thaum nws tau kaj siab lug sib yuav txij li thaum 1997, Kuv xav tias koj yuav tsum mloog nws lus.

Linda
Muaj xws li ib tug tshaj plaws raws li ib tug noj qab nyob zoo grudge. Kuv ua tim noj qab nyob zoo chim tiv thaiv: (1) kuv bank; (2) lub Columbia tsev Music Club; (3) ib tug yawg uas ib zaug hais rau kuv ib tug truckload ntawm lies, ua fav uas coj xyoo untangle; (4) ib tug tsiaj uas tsis kom tu ib tug miv ntawm peb thiab tom qab ntawd sniped hais tias nws yog vim hais tias nws yog heev kom muab peb txhua tus cov ntaub ntawv; (5) ib tug uas kuv kawm ntawv qib siab professors; (6) Kev ncaj ncees Scalia; thiab (7) tug me nyuam yaus uas tsis tu ncua plagiarizes kuv sau ntawv nyob rau hauv internet. Kuv tsis nyiam tag nrho ntawm cov neeg no thiab cov chaw raws li lawv yav dhau los (thiab, tej zaum, tu ncua) misdeeds, thiab kuv tsis tsis muab nws. Kuv yuav tsis tau txais dua nws, Kuv yuav tsis paj rwb rau tej platitudes txog bygones, thiab yog hais tias kuv pom tej yam lawv taug txoj kev, Kuv yuav nyem lawv ib tug qias neeg zoo li koj yuav tsis ntseeg. Tsis tau hais tias koj yeej pom cov Columbia tsev Music Club taug txoj kev, tab sis koj tau lub tswv yim. Kuv tau kawm ib lub sij hawm ntev dhau los uas muaj peev xwm mus nyob peacefully nyob rau hauv ib tug ntug nyob rau hauv uas koj muaj yeeb ncuab yuav cawm koj xyoo ntawm kev nyuaj siab ploj.

Tab sis chim tiv thaiv cov neeg uas koj nyob nraum yuav tsum hlub, los yog zoo ib yam li, los yog yuav muaj feem xyuam rau? Cov uas yog tsis yog li ntawd noj qab nyob zoo. Qhov zoo tshaj plaws txog kev ua npau taws thaum ntawd kawm ntawv qib siab xibfwb yog hais tias kuv tsis tau pom nws dua. Nyob rau hauv qhov tseeb, Kuv tsis xav tias qhov yuav tsum tau mus cuag kev daws teeb meem ntawm kuv txoj kev xav nyob rau hauv tej yam cov neeg mob, thiab kuv tsis xav tias yuav tsum tau yuav tsum tau zam txim rau. Vim li cas kuv zam txim rau tus tsiaj? Nws yeej tsis apologized. Lub ntuj raug txim nrog nws! Kuv miv tuag! Phem paub!

Tab sis thaum koj xav tias zoo li koj twb tau ua txhaum los ntawm lwm tug koj tu txog, nws yog tsi zoo li hu nkauj “Kab, Kab, Kab Koj Nkoj,” nyob rau hauv uas txhua leej txhua tus paub yuav ua li cas kom nws mus, thiab tsis muaj leej twg paub lub graceful txoj kev uas yuav xaus nws. Thiab yog hais tias koj tsis xaus nws, koj yuav poob mus txog muaj tib lub kev sib raug zoo nrog koj tus hluas nraug hais tias kuv muaj nrog kuv bank, thiab ntseeg kuv, koj tsis xav tias yuav tshwm sim.

Ntawm chav kawm, txoj kev uas koj muab tso rau tam sim ntawd koj txoj kev chim siab nyob ib nrab nyob rau hauv dab tsi koj yuav tsum ua hauj lwm nrog. Yog hais tias koj tau txais muaj hmoo, koj yuav muaj ib tug ncaj ncees sib tham txog nws. Koj mam li ua hauj lwm tawm txawm tshwm sim los ntawm kev sib ntaus, thiab koj yuav ua tau tias qhov teeb meem yog daws. Qhov loj tshaj teeb meem no tej zaum “winning” lub sib cav — uas koj yuav ua tau los ntawm lub sij hawm rau lub sij hawm, nyob rau hauv lub siab ntawm extracting ib tug ca-tawm, unqualified apology — thiab ces koj yuav tsum tau rov qab mus thiab “teasingly” coj nws mus tshaj thiab tshaj dua, uas koj yuav tsum tsis txhob ua. Tshwj tsis yog tias koj nyiam raug nco ntsoov txog txhua yam uas koj twb puas tau ua tsis ncaj ncees lawm, kaw thiab tsis nco qab nws.

Tej yam uas yog lawm ntau nyuaj thaum koj siv ib tug ntau ntawm kev rau siab, thiab thaum twg nws yog tshaj, koj tseem tsis xav tias zoo li koj twb daws ib yam dab tsi. Koj twb tau muaj ib tug dubious piav, los yog koj tseem xav tias nws tsis ncaj ncees lawm thiab nws tseem xav tias koj twb tsis ncaj ncees lawm, thiab tsis muaj nqi ntawm kev daws tso tau hloov leej twg lub siab. Yuav ua li cas?

Tej zaum qhov smartest tshaj plaws yog nug koj tus kheej no: Dab tsi yog qhov phem tshaj plaws uas yuav tshwm sim yog hais tias kuv txiav txim siab tsis xav hais tias hais txog qhov no dua? Cov poj niam — tshwj xeeb tshaj yog cov poj niam uas yeej tsis tau muaj ze, platonic txiv neej cov phooj ywg — wildly underestimate lub npe nrov ntawm “Oh, kuv tus Vajtswv, koj yuav fucking poob nws” nyob rau hauv daim ntawv teev cov txiv neej tsis txaus siab txog cov poj niam. Yog hais tias kuv twb tuaj tos tawm ib cheeb tsam nyob rau hauv uas cov txiv neej muaj rau peb ntawm ib tug disadvantage, nws yuav hais tias tsis xav thiab tham lub neej tawm ntawm txhua yam uas tshwm sim mus txog rau thaum txhua leej txhua tus muab kev koom tes yog ib tug qhuav tawm husk. Kuv ib zaug tau txais mus rau hauv ib tug ncaj rhuab email pauv nrog ib tug txiv neej phooj ywg uas ua hauj lwm nyob rau hauv kuv chaw ua hauj lwm, thiab nws mus rau tag nrho cov thaum sawv ntxov, thiab ces thaum txog 11:00, nws xa kuv ib tug uas hais tias, “Peb yuav tsum tau cov phooj ywg dua los ntawm 11:30, vim hais tias nco ntsoov, hais tias yog thaum peb yuav tau tawm rau noj su.” Thiab peb twb. Tshaj plaws! Sib ntaus tshaj. Vim hais tias nws tsis tau tiag tiag teeb meem, thiab thaum twg nws tsis yeej txawv, koj yuav cia li tshaj tawm nws tshaj. Thiab nws yog ib. Koj txawm yuav qw “Tshaj plaws!” yog tias koj xav, tab sis nco ntsoov cov txiv leej tub paub tej kws koj nyob nraum tham txog, los yog koj yuav tau txais funny looks.


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