Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message

So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.

Go you! At least that’s what you think.

Ok, reality check.

Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand.

So, why not take a different approach?

Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.

Remember, you’re messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in.

Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile.

Then, conclude each message with a “clear call to action”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next.

Don’t leave her wondering. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line”.

Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message

With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate.

So they get her message and then wait. and wait. and wonder when it’s “ok” to answer her.

Let’s clear this up.

Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you’re far better off striking while the iron’s hot.

Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she’s still logged on. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine!

Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon

So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic “Hi” message. Now what?

You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?


Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts.

Think of two dogs approaching each other. what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other.

Why do they do this? They’re getting to know each other.

People are the same in many respects.

Don’t scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.

Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message

Yes, she’s really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual.

So you think it’s OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG!

Unless you’re on or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you.

They’ll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her.

So don’t do it.

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