Why You Should Try Dating Someone Who Isn’t Your Type
Last updated: Jan. 18 2020 | 2 min read
Ever had those times where your friends or family, eager to set you up on date with someone they know, ask what type of person you go for?
Almost everyone is guilty of it—claiming that they have some sort of type or preference of partner.
I hear people talk about it all the time: “I only date artistic-type people because I’m an artist” or “I prefer to date people in similar career fields as myself.”
But what if you are overlooking a great catch because they don’t fit your “ideal type”?
This can happen fairly often, especially with online dating. You come across a profile that catches your eye, but after reading their stats you quickly move on because he doesn’t fit your ideal mate checklist. So your type is tall, muscular men but his profile says he’s only 5’6” and only moderately interested in exercise or your type is blonde, Eastern European women and she’s a brunette Australian. Don’t automatically write someone off because they don’t immediately appear to be a match.
Why do you feel you need to date a specific type of person?
You should establish a connection with someone based on similar interests, beliefs and goals. If you focus too much on finding someone to fit specific guidelines you want to follow when dating, you could be sabotaging your chances at potentially building a great relationship.
When you only allow yourself to date your type, you may just be repeating old patterns. If you’ve dated the same type of person for the past ten years and none of the relationships have worked out, perhaps you should rethink just exclusively dating your preferred type. When you date the same type of person over and over, the relationship usually has the same end results.
Dating a specific type can become comfortable and predictable. Dating someone who isn’t your type, someone different, may allow you opportunity to try new things and gain new life experiences. If you try dating someone who has different hobbies than yourself, you are able to try new activities you could really enjoy. Dating someone from a different heritage than your own can allow you to experience new foods and cultures.
To be clear, I am suggesting you try dating people who share more similar internal core values to you (such as dependability, faithfulness or generosity), as opposed to choosing others based on external factors (such as appearance, ethnicity or social status). You should stick to pursuing partners who share similar core values. If you want to settle down in a few years with a family, don’t start dating people who have no ambition to start a family. However, if you find someone who may not fit your ideal type of partner physically, but you have shared long-term goals and beliefs, maybe you should give them a chance.
After all, you just never know who your perfect match may be.