Best First Date Tips for Men
Last updated: Jan. 25 2020 | 4 min read
First dates can be nerve-wracking. There are probably several questions running through his mind right now. How does he carry himself? Where does he take her? What should he talk about? Relax, it’s quite common to feel pangs of pre-first date anxiety. No matter how it turns out, getting that date on his calendar was an accomplishment. The first hurdle is behind him and he can now focus on creating the best-possible date experience for both of them.
First impressions are everything, especially if the guy is looking for a potential long-term partner. Regardless of how he landed that first date (dating apps, in class, mutual friends, whatever it might be), there are certain tips he has to keep in mind to create a lasting impression – and compel her to say “yes” to a second date.
Determine the Date Location Beforehand
If he’s communicating with her over text, it’s important to talk some things out first. He could strike a conversation about her hobbies and interest and find out what her ideal first date location would be. The last thing both parties want is to be stuck in a place that’s uncomfortable. A situation likes this ruins what could have potentially been a wonderful first date. She might be fine with dinner and a movie, but a lot of women these days prefer something a bit more interesting. There are even tales of successful fun dates at shooting ranges! The main thing to remember is to find an activity both parties enjoy and create a bonding experience.
Appearances do count. Always dress to impress. This can’t be stressed enough. There’s no bigger turn off for a woman to see her date show up at a classy French restaurant in baggy shorts and a hoodie. Inner beauty counts too, of course, but it’s important for him to show her that he takes her seriously by dressing right for the occasion. It indicates that he values her time and company. And while he’s at it, he should also make sure to groom himself properly. Trim those fingernails, comb that hair, and smell good.
Be on time. This sounds like general advice that could apply anywhere, but it’s especially true here. Nothing is more insulting than turning up to a date half an hour late and disheveled. Find out where the location is well beforehand and plan your commute accordingly. Even leave a bit early if it’s possible. Arriving about 15 minutes early to the date can help him do some prep like look for the perfect table. Arriving on time is also a sign of good manners. The worst possible outcome is for her to think she’s being stood up. Show her that chivalry isn’t dead yet!
Be a Good Listener
Ask questions and listen attentively to get to know her better. The first date is the best opportunity to get to know her. He should do everything he can keep his focus on her alone. This means putting away his phone and maintaining eye contact. Nod and smile and let her know she’s being listened to. Her self-talk is her way of letting him know what she’s about and it’s important to pay attention. He isn’t just doing it for her remember, he’s also doing for himself. He has to find out what motivates her to determine if she’s the right fit for him.
Maintain an Engaging Conversation
A good conversationalist is always attractive. It isn’t just about listening to her talk mutely, it’s about creating a meaningful and memorable back and fro. He should prepare a list of questions beforehand to engage her effectively. If he has a tendency to speak incoherently or awkwardly, this can be a great way to avoid these pitfalls. He should also gauge what she’s leaning towards during the date. Not all women are the same and the worst thing to do is to generalize. Some women prefer to keep the conversation light and surface-level personal. Talk about family, friends, and pets. Or movies and music. Other women want to delve deep. Philosophy, art, and current events are a few topics to deepen the conversation. Try to steer clear of religion or politics.
Don’t Talk About Exes
Just don’t. While it’s important to learn about each other’s dating history, it’s ALWAYS a bad idea to dote on exes. Stay away from extensively questioning her about her sexual history. This can make him come off as shrewd, controlling, and possibly psychotic. On the other hand, he shouldn’t drone on about how his ex was the worst person in the world. This clearly shows he hasn’t moved on, and no woman in her right mind wants to get herself involved with a person like that. Keep it classy, guys!
Respect Personal Boundaries
He should maintain a relaxed aura and understand the basics of body posture, and what subliminal messages he could be sending unintentionally. If it’s a movie date, he shouldn’t try the old hand-over-the-shoulder trick the first time around. Women usually show men their interest by touching their arms or other forms of physical contact. Understand how she feels about personal space and respect her opinion. Nothing says ‘creepy’ than getting handsy and grabby too soon.
Insist on Splitting the Bill
This is probably going to be a controversial take, but he should always insist on splitting the bill. Discuss this beforehand and let her know subtly that she’s expected to pay her share of this bill. Remember guys, it isn’t cheap to expect a person to pay for themselves. Don’t make a big deal out of it, just let her know in advance. That way, she’s spending time with him because she enjoys his company and not because she feels it’s an obligation. Women who outright expect men to foot the bill the first time around tend to be entitled or emotionally unavailable. This is a huge red flag that he needs to note. She isn’t doing him a favor by going out with him, she’s there because she likes him.