Are Your Online Social Profiles Wrecking Your Relationships?
Last updated: Aug. 19 2019 | 3 min read
You know you’re not the only person who obsessively searches for their dates on social media sites and search engines in an attempt to dig up dirt, right? Do you know what your Internet footprint is saying about you to your potential relationships?
The Friend Ratio
Just how many red flags could you possibly be raising with your friends and followers lists? Maybe more than you think. One of the most accessible pieces of information about you, at least when it comes to the Internet, is who your friends are. Potential dates could be looking at your lists and forming some pretty strong opinions.
If you look through a list of friends quickly, one piece of information will be absorbed right away: the ratio of men to women on the list. Women who have lots of male friends can be intimidating to potential dates. They’re going to wonder who all these guys are, what the relationship is, and possibly feel threatened. The same goes for women who are checking out men on social media. When they see a lot of women on the list, they’re going to be curious and more cautious.
The Info You Reveal
Social media is a good way to keep in touch and potentially connect with the personalities you enjoy, but it’s also filled with hot-button topics. Many people use social media sites to follow the political and social causes that matter to them. Some even use it as a soapbox to tout their pet interests. Strong opinions can be very off-putting to potential dates, who may not wholeheartedly agree with every issue.
It isn’t ideal to find a mate who agrees with you on every single issue, and it’s always better to keep an open mind. When you bombard a potential mate with your political interests, you could be turning them off and pushing them away before you even have a chance to find common ground.
The Requests You Make
The two of you have been dating for a week, and it’s going well. But before you comb through their friends list and bombard all of their family members and acquaintances with requests, stop and think. It’s not appropriate to friend their siblings, parents and high school buddies unless you expressly ask permission to do so.
Do it behind your mate’s back or without their agreement, and you could wind up looking like a stalker. Even when your intentions are totally innocent, it’s going to look suspicious if suddenly you’re friending all of their friends. The person you’re dating will feel that you’re trying to keep tabs on them, and this could raise all sorts of trust issues.
The Photos You Share
You dieted all winter and now you look amazing in that brand-new swimsuit…but that doesn’t mean you should share it with the world. The stuff you reveal in your photos may be giving off the wrong impression about what type of person you are. Show off a lot of skin, and your potential mate could become jealous. They could lose respect for you. They could even show your photos to other people, or re-publish them and share them with the world, when you were only willing to share the pics with a select few.
Once you put something on the Internet, anyone can get to it and everyone will form opinions about it. Remember that before you show off that swimsuit shot.
The Neutrality Game
Take care in how you present yourself on social media sites. You don’t want to reveal too much. That goofy picture of you that you love where you’re passed out on the couch may spark great memories for you, but for a potential date it can be a big red flag. You may never get the chance to explain that such behavior is well in the past.
Show your personality online, but show the filtered version. You want to find a mate who loves you for who you really are, and you will have many opportunities to reveal your many layers. You don’t have to rush to show all your facets off on the Internet.