Dating Tips For The Shy, Awkward Person
Last updated: May. 31 2020 | 4 min read
Dates can be stressful for everyone but especially so if you are going on a date with an amazing man who you would really love to get to know and yet you are shy and awkward. It is often something which is overlooked. Everyone just assumes that you should be able to get brave or “man up” or “woman up” but as a person who is shy and awkward I can testify that that would not be that easy.
It has many disadvantages such as not been able to get to know the man, been even more on edge than another person would be on a date and possibly missing out on a connection that you could have made if you had let the real you out. Of course there is an advantage to it because if a person really likes you then they will make the effort and then you will that they really like you. After all we live in an incredibly fast-paced world and that pace does not simply occur in our professional lives. It tends to steep into our personal lives too but if a person really likes you they won’t matter how long it takes to woo you.
I am going to speak in this piece about what we can do to improve how we come over on a date but I am under no illusions, and I don’t want to put anyone else under any either, that this is a slow process that needs to be worked on and will certainly not be perfect overnight.
Dress To Express You
This is a tip which would be advisable for any man or woman going on a date with that oh-so-hot male! But it is even more important when you are a shy, awkward person. After all we express who we are through what we wear whether it is eccentric or more demure and if you struggle to communicate who you are via words then how you dress can help to put across to the man what you can’t say in words. For example if you dress in quite an eccentric manner it could display without saying anything that you are a Lady Gaga fan or that you are quite spontaneous and fun. Always remember to dress the way you see yourself and not how you think his perfect woman or man would dress. It is very easy to fall into that trap. I have myself. While in the company of men who I have fancied I have dressed how I feel they would like me to dress because I’d want them to like me but the danger of that is that even if they do like you they are not liking you for you and especially if you are looking for possible longevity it would advisable to let them see what you like to wear because after all that’s the type of style you will be wearing with them for your lifelong relationship.
Take Each Sentence As It Comes
A major part of been shy and awkward is overthinking and you hear a lot that you just need to stop overthinking the situation. But if that was easy then people would just do it. Overthinking is something which becomes embedded in a person but it can be overcome. It just isn’t as simple as it all vanishing at once. You need to take it slowly and in terms of a date take each sentence as it comes. Try not to think about the date too much in advance. Fill your mind with other things like concerts, reading, TV shows, films, overtime. The key is just to keep your mind as much off the date so that as much of your personality comes out on the date because you haven’t had the time to think through everything that might occur and how you should answer it and what you should ask.
Think How You Would Feel About This In Ten Years
Thinking about how you will feel about something in ten years is a very good way of evaluating the importance of a situation. Try and think of whether it is as important and big as you are making it out to be. Say you do make a mistake, so what? Will it be a major concern to you in a decade when you probably will have met the man of your dreams? If a person can’t overlook a few mistakes then do you really want to be with them? Besides they are going to be nervous too and are most likely going to make a few mistakes themselves so it is about overlooking theirs and hoping they will overlook yours. You don’t want to be with someone who constantly defines you on the things you do wrong. What kind of life would that be after all?
This isn’t going to happen overnight. You might even have some dating disasters where you sit there and say very little. But it is all about progress. Get involved in as many social things as you can and over time your confidence in speaking will improve. And when you do the right man will be there to listen if he has not already come along and broke down those walls and when he is in your life all these worries of how you come across and how it is taking longer to find someone because you can’t make that connection in the way others seem to easily do won’t matter. I wish you all sincerely the best of luck.