How to Keep a Fulfilling Relationship
Last updated: Jan. 24 2020 | 3 min read
Many couples know it already: a fulfilling relationship requires a lot of time and energy investment. While some learned it the hard way, others understood from the very beginning that one cannot have a fulfilling relationship without being in peace with oneself first of all. If you are looking at your relationship and you feel you are not perfectly happy with the way it is now, you should know that a good starting point in improving it is yourself. Self growth and personal development are the keys not only to your own happiness, but also to a pleasant and fulfilling life as a couple. You cannot transform yourself or your relationship in a split second, but here are some points to consider:
1. Happiness comes from the inside
That being said, you should know that your partner’s sole goal in life is not to make you happy while you sit and do nothing about it. Expecting happiness to simply knock on your door is rather foolish. A fulfilling relationship involves two people who respect and care about each other. Each partner takes something from the relationship, but also brings something into it. While love can be blind and unconditional, it does not have to be selfless. Therefore, don’t expect the other to make you happy. Invest in yourself; learn how to be happy in order to contribute to your couple’s happiness.
2. Remove the beam from your own eye
An old saying teaches us to first take the plank out of our own eye, if we want to be able to see clearly and only afterwards remove the speck from someone else’s eye. What does this mean? Look first at yourself in the mirror, discover and try to work on your flaws before pointing out your partner’s misshapes. Without falling in the other extreme and going for self condemnation, cut your partner some slack, stop watching his/her every single move through a magnifying glass, and try to understand their actions instead of judging them. Next time you have even the slightest couple conflict, instead of trying to put the blame on someone else, ask yourself what you did wrong. Try to find the ways of avoiding conflict, and, when such a disagreement arises, think of a solution to solve it peacefully.
3. Keep your calm
So many relationships take a wrong turn only because the two partners adopt a warrior’s attitude. A fulfilling relationship is not a battlefield. You don’t need to attack your partner or to count your victories as a higher score won’t help you feel happier. Instead, try to keep your calm and to be patient with your partner. Think that your partner is not your enemy, and whenever you want to raise your voice, take a deep breath and refrain yourself. Wait until you are able to talk it through quietly, and you will soon see the results.
4. Lay healthy foundations to your relationship
Just like a solid house is built on solid foundations, a fulfilling relationship is built on healthy ones. This means you have to be honest to your partner and, most importantly, to yourself from the very beginning. Why would you go to great lengths in order to hide your flaws if you are planning a future together? The other will eventually notice your weaker points. Have you ever thought that your partner might actually love that side of you that you consider faulty?
5. Don’t give up your dreams
Who told you that in order to have a fulfilling relationship and be happy you have to give up your dreams? If you think this is your partner’s wish, there are two options: either you got him/her wrong, or it’s not the ONE. Neither selfishness, nor selflessness constitute the right attitude for a harmonious relationship. On the contrary, a healthy love partnership means that the two support and encourage each other to pursue their dreams. If you decide that your own wishes and goals are not important, you will soon feel frustrated and unfulfilled. Is this where you want your relationship to be heading to?