Six Red Flags To Spot On The First Date
Last updated: Feb. 18 2021 | 3 min read
When it comes to the first date, there can be immense pressure surrounding it. What to wear, where to go, and even what to talk about. It can all be a bit overwhelming. However, there are a few very important behaviors you should be on the lookout for on the first date. I’m talking about the dreaded red flag warning signs.
It’s understandable to be nervous on the first date, so I’m not saying you should analyze every sentence and movement your date makes, but there are a few big deal breakers to be on the lookout for.
Texting During the Date
I understand we now live in a technology-heavy society but just put the phone away. Texting during the date is just such a rude gesture. Nothing makes someone feel like they are too uninteresting to listen to than texting during your date. Your texts to your friends can wait a few hours. So when you head out for that first date, put your phone on silent and leave it in your pocket or purse for the remainder of the date. If they are unable to set their phone aside on the first date, more than likely they will never set their phone down.
Too Sexually Aggressive
There is a difference between being flirty and being sexually explicated. Making a few innocent comments is fine (such as briefly complementing your outfit or appearance), but if they begin to make more obscene comments, you should reevaluate your date. Everyone loves to be complimented, however having someone grope your leg and tell you how badly they want to take you home is just uncomfortable. If you are looking for a long term relationship, you want a date who is trying to get to know you and not just focused on getting you in bed.
It’s never a good sign if the date has just started and he/she is already criticizing you. Examples: if you just arrived from the gym and inform your date of this and their response is something like “Oh, so you are THAT kinda person. Total gym rat?” or when you arrive to meet your date they critique what you wore. If they are criticizing you this early on, it’s likely that pattern will last, and will be constantly judgmental of your choices.
Talking Way Too Much About Themselves
A good conversation usually consists of equally shared exchanges. There are also times when if you or your date is shy, the more outgoing one of you two will carry more of the conversation, which is fine. However, if the date is primarily a one-sided conversation, where your date constantly talks about themselves, it becomes a bit tiresome. Even worse, when they cut you off when you are speaking to talk more about themselves. A date is an opportunity to learn more about each other and see how you connect, not a chance for a monologue about how amazing and perfect you are.
Work and Living Situation
I’m not saying to not go on a date with a person who lives at home and is unemployed—the economy is tough these days, it’s understandable. If they haven’t had a stable income for years and seem a little too comfortable with their living arrangements at their parent’s house, perhaps you should move on. You should also worry if they are unable to tell you what exactly they do for a living. What is so secretive about your job that you are unable to tell your date? You might not want to know the answer…
While this one may seem obvious (as the first date is never a great time to discuss previous relationships), if they bring up their ex, pay attention to how they talk about them. It’s fine if they just briefly mention them, but if they tell you what a psycho they are and how much they hate them, you really shouldn’t plan a second date. Any sort of aggressive or condescending talk about their past partners shows that they clearly haven’t moved on from the relationship or that they are just bitter and cruel, in which case it’s for the best you don’t continue seeing them.