Top 4 Tips You Should Know About Dating
Last updated: Dec. 27 2017 | 3 min read
We are awash with dating tips everywhere we look. In a world full of people trying to find the one it seems everyone wants to have their say. And so often they make it sound so easy when in fact it isn’t easy at all. If it were we’d all have met the man or woman of our dreams after all. So I’m not going to say things like “You just have to get over whatever is holding you back and go for it.” because if we could all do that we wouldn’t need to read dating advice. So I don’t claim to be an expert. What I do claim is to be able to understand. We are all in this together.
This is probably the most important thing to remember when you enter the dating game. But it is also probably the hardest to do in practice. And I think we’ve almost all been guilty of acting the way we think the person we like wants us to in order to impress them. But you are simply never going to find true love that way. True love is a connection. It is someone seeing you for exactly who you are and adoring you for it. After all are you going to go through your entire life acting? But with this comes a responsibility. In turn you must be respectful of who they are. So for example you might be a hard rocker but they like the cheesiest of the cheesiest in pop. You need to respect them like you would like them to respect you. Don’t try to change each other. I have heard it from people in long-lasting relationships. It is the worse thing you can do. It only leads to resentment and bitterness.
The Little Things Are Appreciated
You will have to judge how you play this on who the person is because some definitely do like the bigger gesture and to be wined and dined! But the common misconception is that everyone is like that when many would prefer just a text asking how their day is. I’ve heard people saying that before and I tend to agree with it. A very important thing if you are getting them a gift is that you need to get to know what they like. It shows an interest in them and who they are. The generic gifts such as flowers, chocolates and aftershave/perfume are fine at the start but as a relationship progresses tailor your gifts to be a bit more individual to the person you’re dating.
Yes, this is a difficult one if you have a shy personality. Not that underneath that shy exterior there isn’t a wealth of opinions bubbling (That’s why most of us become writers!) but it isn’t always easy to have the confidence to express them and that can get in the way of you finding love sadly because a person has to get to know you. That’s how they decide whether they like you or not following the initial attraction. Obviously like in life, love is the same and you will need to use common sense and the advice of others to know what situations you should express your opinions in and when it is best to keep quiet but when you can let them know who you are. You can still be shy. That can be attractive. But attempt to be open too. And ways to help with that would be to do a course in communications (or a few!), do evening courses, go to a toastmasters or just get yourself out there in a social atmosphere as much as you can. It’s scary but it’s worth it. As my mum always said, you shouldn’t stop your life for other people.
Pick The Person For You
A very common thing that people do is that they pick someone based on what family or friends think. By all means heed advice where advice is sensible such as if s/he is a drug addict people are probably only looking out for you. But people have a tendency of putting their own type as everybody’s type and the type of person we go for is unique to us. If you are looking for a hippy or a beatnik you are never going to be happy with a country farmer and vice versa. Admittedly there are exceptions because the world of dating is unpredictable but in general terms we are all looking for someone who fits with us and we need to be with someone who we are comfortable with and who excites us. It’s no good been with someone because they have your loved ones’ seal of approval. They aren’t the ones dating them. You are. And you wouldn’t tell them what to do so don’t allow them to make decisions for you. And trust your own decisions and your own mind. Your own instincts in love usually are the right ones.