Ugly Truths About Modern Dating
Last updated: Jan. 22 2020 | 2 min read
Let’s face it, we no longer live in the good ol’ days where love at first sight turned into courtship which led to a happy, long marriage. With the advancements of technology, fear of commitment, and the high rate of infidelity, modern dating is not easy. And for those born in the late 20th century, we especially know just how difficult dating can be.
The person who cares less has all the power in the relationship and no one wants to be the one who has more interest because that is just too vulnerable. Because we do not want to appear too eager, we tend to take hours or sometimes days to text back. These psychological games are not fun for anyone.
Phone calls are a dying art form. Most communication nowadays happens through text messages which is actually the most impersonal form of communication.
Planning ahead and setting dates tends to never happen. Thanks to social media, other romantic interests, and friends, dates tend to be more spur of the moment than thoughtfully planned out.
Phrases like “let’s chill” and “want to hang out” are code for “let’s hook up”. And while most dread getting these messages, they are oftentimes the most popular way to invite someone to spend time these days.
Some people are not looking for a relationship, they just want to hook up. Unfortunately, most of the time this is not said until after the fact. Nowadays, honestly is very rarely used.
Many people are scared of commitment which leads to “we’re just talking” relationships. Not only does this blur lines, these relationships tend to never last. These label-free relationships oftentimes end with one person cheating but since the relationship was never official then the cheating “never really happened”.
Social media is full of temptations and opportunities to stray. Private messages and subtle flirting such as liking a picture certainly increases the chances for cheating. Social media also shows options to see who else is out there, it is no longer just a way to stay in touch with family and friends. Social Media is also used to express feelings. Status updates and posted pictures about love, while not mentioning you directly, is the new way of expressing ones’ true feelings.
Unfortunately, nowadays it is very difficult to see the other person completely unfiltered. Generally, people are scared to be genuine and put themselves out there even in relationships. This notion of being scared is because they do not want to be reflected as too available, too anxious, too dorky, too nice, too safe, not funny enough, etc. What we all need to know is that when you find the right person, they will embrace all aspects of you.
Lastly, any person that you get romantic with will either end up being your life partner or eventually you will break up – both of these realities are terrifying. While modern dating is not the easiest, it is worth it in the end. For when we do find that special someone, we tend to cherish them all the more as the journey to finding true love is always worth it.