When Is The “Right Time” To Pursue A New Relationship?
Last updated: Dec. 27 2017 | 3 min read
Breakups are tough. Regardless of who ends the relationship or why it ended, it can be an emotional time following the end of a partnership. So you find yourself single again and the whole dating world can feel a bit overwhelming at first.
There are times you may wonder when you should begin to start dating again and sadly, there is no easy solution to this problem. Everyone deals with breakups at their own pace so there is no specific timeline to follow in regards to pursuing a new relationship after a breakup.
So are you ready to begin a new relationship, let alone start dating? Here are a few tips to help you know if you are on the right path:
Give yourself time
I’m not gonna lie—breakups suck. You might want to curl up into the fetal position on your couch with a pint of ice cream and Netflix for company for a while. Taking time to grieve the end of a relationship is normal. When it comes to heavy emotions like heartache, it may take some time to heal your wounds. Coping with a breakup in a healthy and mature way is the best way to deal and move forward with your life.
Work on yourself
Often when relationships end you are left questioning everything. What went wrong? Was it my fault? What could I have done differently? Stop punishing yourself for your failed relationship and stop playing the blame game, as it’s not going to make you feel any better. Accepting that the relationship didn’t work out and not lingering on feelings of regret will help you move on. Learning from mistakes is the best way to know what you want out of a relationship and what you don’t.
Take this time to try to improve yourself and try new things. Ever had a hobby you were interested in but never tried? Now is the perfect time! Take a language course, volunteer at a charity event or even run a marathon. The options are endless. Try something new that makes you happy and just focus on you.
Cut all romantic ties with your ex
Some people are able to remain friends after a breakup, but if you find that you just can’t get over them and keep trying to work things out, you might want to cut all contact with them, even if it’s just temporary. It’s hard to move on when you keep giving yourself false hope that there is still a chance to rekindle the relationship. There is time later down the road to become friends, but when the breakup is still fresh in your mind, it may just be easier to keep your distance.
Avoid the dreaded rebound
The rebound relationship paradigm is a habit that needs to be broken immediately. You may tell yourself this relationship won’t be a typical rebound, but it might turn out that way anyway, despite your best efforts. You could still be reeling from your last relationship and all the heavy feelings involved, so it may become confusing by bringing those old feelings into a new relationship.
When it comes to rebound flings (i.e. having sex with random partners, friends with benefits, etc.), they should just be avoided. A quick hookup can seem like a good idea, but they just are not. Using casual sex as a means of feeling less lonely after a breakup tends to have the opposite effect; you will more than likely feel far worse after everything is said and done. Save yourself the extra heartache and pass on the rebound relationship/flings.
You truly feel ready to move forward
When you no longer have lingering feelings of love and loss towards your ex, have stopped obsessively checking their Facebook page (don’t pretend you haven’t) and stopped giving yourself hope for reconciliation you may be ready to move forward.
Don’t listen to those around you who tell you when you should start dating again because that decision is ultimately up to you. When you finally feel ready to meet someone new is when you should start dating. This is your life after all, so don’t try to appease your friends and family by hopping back into the dating game when your just not ready yet.